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moore presents

So, if you picked Michael Moore in the office Christmas Present Secret Santa exchange, what would you get him?


A rather large boot planted firmly up his ass.

A gun. :-)

His own personal selection of Doc Johnson butt plugs.flavored of course.

Assuming brain transplants are not yet possible, how about at least one outfit of clothes that don't look like thrift store rejects, and a bottle of shampoo, so he doesn't have to hide his greasy hair under that idiotic looking ball cap.

A used condom and the video of me having sex with his wife/girlfriend/mother.

Several single-edge razor blades, for attaching to the sides of those boots mentioned above by Da Goddess. Sharp side out, of course.

Did any one pick "a clue" yet?

A ticket on the same flight as Babs and Alec. His would be coach, however.

Shampoo and a salad

A laser-guided, plasma-yield suppository, courtesy of the Red, White & Blue. One time use only, please.

A spare neuron.

A one-way ticket to France (complete with the paperwork for permanently resigning American citizenship: if he doesn't value it, he won't miss it), a country where his views and attitudes would be considered nothing but mainstream- and his lack of hygene noticed not at all.
Runner up: a twenty-year sentence to Riker's and a bottle of the salad dressing of his choice (any Chris Rock fans in the house?)

A slice of Semtex in a bun, hold the mayo.

A full-body tattoo of "Osama sucks camel cocks & George Bush Rules!" and free flight (provided by the baby-killing USAF {his view}) to para-drop his naked, elephantine ass in the middle of Mogadishu, right at the beginning of prayer call.

A handgun, biometrically attached to him, and a one way ticket to Afghanistan.

Will he fire off any shots, or will he just get killed?

A razor and a copy of "Mr. Widgey's Guide to Good Hygiene".


A gift certificate to have his jaw wired shut.. and soap.