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meet the new boss

meet the new boss - same as the old boss

Someone took me off their link list today. That in and of itself is no big deal. It's the reason why.

At first, it didn't bother me. But the more I looked at the reason, and the more I looked at one of the comments on the post regarding the reason, the more it hurt.

See, the person wasn't de-linking A Small Victory. They were dismissing me. My views. My persona. My feelings.

I know things have changed around here. My world has changed in the last year and with that, I have changed. Obviously, the subject matter here would follow in that path.

But there is no Old Michele/New Michele. This is just me finding myself - finally, at 40 years old - finding my niche and finding where I'm comfortable. I feel at peace with myself and who I am now. If the person who I really am offends you or makes you uncomfortable, fine. I can still choose to be hurt by it thought.

I'm hurt that people can't look past my politics to everything else I am. A wife, a mother, a sister. A person with a decent sense of humor and what I personally believe to be a pretty big heart.

I know I have lost a lot of readers in the past few months. I don't mind that because above all, this site is still what it started out to be - a place for me to rant and rave and talk and vent. It is for me. Sometimes it's a whole shitload of fun, sometimes it's angry, sometimes it's downright nasty, and often times it's my heart and soul that are put out here in these words. So to turn your back on me just because my politics have changed is demeaning, because you are saying I as a person am defined by my politics. That's impossible because no one political ideal is mine. As complex a person as I am, my ideals and beliefs are just as complex.

I link to and read a lot of blogs whose authors are on the complete opposite of the tracks from me in the matters of politics or religion or world views. But I still like them for who they are, for the person that lives beyond their party of choice or the church they go to, for their hearts and minds and souls.

I may come off like a blood thirsty hawkish mean-spirited, belligerent lunatic sometimes because I am. But I am also a myriad of other things and I only wish you wouldn't dump all of me in the trash just because you don't like a small part of me.

This person claimed that I am not doing anything to better the world or myself. I think that's what hurts the most. Just ask me what I'm doing. Not every single detail of my life goes in here. You have no idea what I am doing outside of this box on your screen.

If you know anything about me you know I will not change for anyone but myself. I have not really changed so much as found a spot to be comfortable in. This spot may seem like a drastic shift from where I was a year ago, but my life has made a drastic shift, also. This is where I landed and I'm in a place that I like, finally. Where before I was always questioning myself and my motives, now, for the first time, I don't second guess myself.

Now, if you don't mind, I have to get back to being angry and pissy and looking for blood. Oh, and for the lot of you that are shaking your heads over the behavior of the contestants in the Daily Pundit contest, find a dictionary and look up the words parody and fun.

On with the show. I promised someone I would show my cleavage tonight.

*addendum* To answer an email question (are you now or have you ever been a conservative?), I quote Stephen of Vodka Pundit: Iím a Falwell-tweaking, gay-marriage supporting, drug legalizing, pro-abortion, pro-immigration, anti-trade barrier, wary-of-organized-religion kind of conservative. Hardly a conservative at all, but I digress.

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» One door closes... from Patio Pundit
... and another one opens. It is long past time that I added Michele to the blogroll. Just consider it [Read More]

» What from dcthornton.blog
a small victory: meet the new boss [Read More]

» What's One Bkog's Loss... from dcthornton.blog
...is another blog's gain. Michele of a small victory joins the blogroll. Tonight, a recent entry really hit home for [Read More]

Comments

I showed you mine. It's only fair you show me yours. :)

Their loss, Michele. BTW, did you mention cleavage? Where? When?

I say good on you. It's been great watching you find your voice over all this time :)

well not like you didn't have a voice before. But you know...

michele, I think you're great. Whoever it is will just miss out. Our blogs are what people online have to judge us by, so we have to realize that, but at the same time it seems the most important values should be honesty and forthrightness which are generally apparent over time even with just a blog to judge by. Clearly whoever this is does not value people first by those traits. So why should you care what (s)he thinks?

File your nails, sharpen your teeth and dig back in tomorrow. Let the wimps get out of the way! The bums!

you've gained some new readers too..

You're still on my list schnookums.

You know, I don't always agree with things I read here, but damnit, even when I don't agree--you still make me think when I'm here, and you make me question my beliefs, and force me to think about things, and even if we don't end up in the same place, it's still all good. And educational. And enjoyable.

Plus, there's that whole bloodthirsty side of your persona that's just too damned attractive to dismiss. ;)

I added you to my link list when I started disagreeing with your opinions. I liek the way you write, I like the conviction you write with, and I enjoy your humour. In summary, you rock. Keep rocking.

I hate when 'like' comes out spelt that way.

Hey, if you can put up with me, I can put up with you. (I guess.)

Hey, look on the bright side...

NO-ONE comes to my site.

I am Jack's addiction to banal postings.

(ahem)

Just bookmarked you...Thanks...tripDave (a Right winger from the Left coast)BTW, Cleavage? your now on the links tool bar.

So that 419,000 on your site counter is fake?

eat more beans.

since September, 2001, i've agreed with you all of maybe two times. it doesn't matter to me. i don't come here to agree or disagree with your politics. i come here at least 5 times a day to hear the fire in your words, to feel inspired, to just see how YOU are. how you're feeling today, what you ate for breakfast, whether DJ dressed up as Christina or not. you're one of the coolest people i've met in this grand blogosphere, and i say that sincerely.

i hope this asshole didn't really hurt you--i say, it's their loss. they really are missing out.

Umm...I regret even the smallest implication that I would waver in my support of The Divine Ms. M.... I think she's fantastic.

Greatest. Blogger. Ever.

And she did NOT threaten me to say any of this.

(Better?) ow! ow! ow! stop hitting me!

See? My minions readers love me!

I am Technofreak. King of programming inaptitude. The 419,000 thing on my site is confusing, seeing as I only launched the new site YESTERDAY and my site stats say I've only had 30 hits, but, as yet, I've been unable to work out what's wrong with it.

However, if it wasn't such a damn lie, It'd really give me a warm feeling inside. More denial, John, more denial...

Michele

I added a link to your site over a week ago and I felt stupid that I had never read it before. Where the hell had I been, out killing terrorists probably? You're on my daily read list because your blog KICKS ASS! I truly appreciate your insight, sense of humor, honesty, intelligence, passion, and non-PC approach. Don't change a thing. I pity the poor fool who de-links you, for they know not what they are missing. The critics be damned!

Now - Let us get back to the bloodletting and torturing of the bloggers who take themselves far too seriously. ONWARD TO WAR!

Fair warning Michele: I'll delink you if you stop being a Clutch fan.

Never happen, Michael. I'm gonna go put on Transitional Speedway right now.

Having read your post, and also having went through a period of finding my own voice, I can relate to being dismissed by others for sipmly being me, warts and all.

Into my blogroll you go -- though I should've linked to you a long time ago. :)

both Skits and Bran have said (and better i might add) what i wanted to say. i've been reading your journal for only a week or two. there's a bit here and there that i don't agree with. but you make me think, Michele, and that's a wonderful thing.

Hey, no sweat. If they can't handle disagreement, so be it. If you suddenly became a stark raving lunatic who shouted down - nastily - everybody who disagreed with your positions, you'd lose people. But that would be a rational act on their part, because you would be acting in an irrational manner. For those of us who disagree with you on various things and agree with you on others, it's apparent that you're secure enough in yourself not to need coddling. So go kick some ass.

Well, you know how I feel about this kind of shit. So, I won't bore you with a repeat. :-)

As said above, think of all the folks who added you to their link lists...for being what you are.
Is there anything more "gone" than the past?

That's funny, I'm a Gore-bashing, pro-business, (mostly) anti-welfare, pro-gun, anti-affirmative action, wary-of-organized government liberal. Which proves that you can come to your senses from either side. :)

M., Please, for the love of God, don't change a thing!
You seriously ROCK and are among the premier War blogger babes/Valkyrie Regiment/Bellicose Women!
In fact, I was feeling jealous of you the other day, because in my blog travels, I've seen person after person--just in the past few days-- remark on how much you Kick Ass and where have they been, cause they're SO perma-linking you!
I am shocked that one ass with no taste, refinement or sense of humor would "delink" you, but it's their loss!
(P.S. I'm a smoker, so your attempt to quit is admirable, but if you're freaking without the smokes, maybe it's better to have the cigs if without your nerves are shot!
I think of we smokers as Patriots: we're preserving our Constitutional Freedoms and we're filling state coffers with much needed tax revenue and we're defying the junk science about SecondHandSmoke, etc. . Ask Rush; he totally endorses this view.)

Thats okay, new people come along...

" link to and read a lot of blogs whose authors are on the complete opposite of the tracks from me in the matters of politics or religion or world views. But I still like them for who they are, for the person that lives beyond their party of choice or the church they go to, for their hearts and minds and souls. "

Amen sister! I too read everyone - witches, christian, liberal conspiracy nuts, republicans, and while i do not agree with all i LOVE everyone.
Just because everyone doesn't fit neatly into my pocket protector, doesn't mean squat. You are bravely you!
VERY jealous of the cleavage! :P

Their loss M. Disagreement isn't dysfunctional, it's healthy. I'd hate like hell living in a world where you couldnt have honest differences of opinion.

Michele, ARGH! I thought I had linked you months ago...well, now I have fer shure!
You lose one Loser linker, you gain lots of very Cool friends who'll happily and proudly permalink ya!
Happy Halloween, Girlfriend!

but michele, there is an old/new you, more than most. there is a huge line, you saw it yourself when you pointed out in a recent post (the pic of the angry arab flipping the finger) that there was a turning point.

and ... i miss the sporkie michele. what can i say? i miss the countercultural tinfoil hat michele. i feel a loss because you have found yourself in a warblogger role, at home in those circles -- because i see you outright slamming 'liberals' in the broadest terms. how can i not react to that? i'm a liberal, an i moved in that direction at the same time you were moving in yours.

and your direction is your direction. i feel it's a matter of you seeking comfort and security in the absolute us/them thing. since i am firmly convinced there are no absolutes, yes, sometimes it hurts me to read you. i tend to skip those posts and look for the 'old' michele. the one i can read at rhzine and blogcritics. the one that didn't feel the need to slam democrats and liberals (for the record, i'm registered green party).

i will always respect what you choose to rant so brilliantly about. but i reserve the space to feel sad, that you have embraced warblogging.

I have to side with kd here... but expand the premise further. Its not your attitude thats changed Chele, its the world. There has been a progressive split between the hawks and the doves, a painful build-up of pressure that should be released somehow (usually by a nice war or two) but just isn't being.

You certainly reflect that, while remaining you. I just wish you'd go back to being the kook and the world went back to just being a slightly simmering hotbed of vague miffedness at one another instead of a rather irate bunch of hotheads looking for a fight.

Links. Pshaw. Gave them up long ago.

Like DC Thornton said. It's one blog's loss and another's gain...well, make that two more.

I'm going to link you, too, based on this entry. I think it was well stated.

...and the point is abundantly clear.

...oh, and you even like Clutch!

I miss the old Michele, too. Honestly, I always found you a bit high-strung -- fury seemed to be a default setting for you, even before your recent "conversion." But you were a fun daily read for me, and I enjoyed our occasional e-mail chats. Now I skim through about once a week, and it just makes me sad. I wish you well, but I can't watch anymore.

I'm a Stephen-Michele type of conservative and I'm proud of it. Add "kinky" to the mix and you have me to a "t".

Michele - I love the person you are - because it shines through, regardless of your politics.

AND you're the most evil-blood-lusting-hawkish-should-win-the-blog-contest-blogger! Although Charles Johnson comes close ;)

I'll link to ya ;) You may not like the traffic though!

Did you stumble across that particular post on accident/from a tip, or had you been reading his blog regularly?

Perhaps the people who are finding it difficult to read perceived liberal bashing will finally understand what it's like to surf through their blogs and read conservative bashing. Really, I have scars from wincing so hard.

I don't read the newsy warblogs because that's not why I read blogs. But Michele's writing, even when it's full-on politico-ranting is personal, not politics for its own sake. It's what she's thinking and feeling and most of the time it's damn funny.

As for the linking, link who you want, for as long as you want, as fickle-y as you want. But realize that if someone is sad to be off your list that is much more of a compliment (shows how much they value your opinion) than you being sad they're off your list (shows how much you value your opinion.)

I will only speak for myself here, and I am sure that it will be twisted and destroyed along the way.

You wrote to me once saying that you get angry and don’t always know the right way to let it out, that you are still trying to find yourself. I know all too well how difficult that can be.

But along with so many others, I lost my connection with you when I came to your site and felt that the world was a hateful place. Then I would look at comments left by people, and that feeling of sadness weighed heavily all the more. In a world so full of anger and hate and sorrow, to perpetuate such a cycle isn’t something I can watch and support with a link to your site. Take that for whatever value you wish to give it.

Good luck on your search, Michele, I wish you well and I hope that someday you can learn to let go of the hatred, an emotion that no one will ever be able to control.

ox

Do you really want a bunch of pussies linking to you anyway? It could soil your reputation.

Odd how some people cough*jhames*cough react to perceived "hatred" by refusing to look at it... at least when it offends their politics. What do you want to bet these same people react to the terrorists by embracing the "hatred" which drives them, hmmmmmmm?

Michele, I'm a new reader, but you've already found your way onto my very short list of blogs I visit regularly. I'd much rather read about the struggles of a real person, than the denials and self-justification of an ostrich. Hang in there -- the real people need you.

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but this anti-drug war, pro-life, pro-immigration, pro-gun, free trading, suspicious of cops, organized religion-rejecting, ear-ringed and heavily-tattooed libertarian conservative thinks you're just fine the way you are. However that is.

It troubles me that some people read you now and see hatred, but before they saw just high-spiritedness. You move away from positions similar to theirs and suddenly you're full of hate?!? Bullshit!

One thing that's been a consistent feature of your writing since the first day I read it over a year ago is a sharp-tongued, sassy, take-no-prisoners-or-bullshit attitude. It may pointed in a somewhat different direction now, but that doesn't make it hate. It really burns me up when people characterize perfectly legitimate righteous indignation as "hate" merely because it's doesn't comport with their own prejudices.

I was 20 feet away from about 60 anti-Bush protestors about five hours ago. It would be very easy to characterize their signs, chants and other foolishness as motivated by hate. In fact, it's quite difficult not to. But I choose to believe they are merely passionate about their point of view.

I also know that, on those occasions when I've gone out on the hustings to agitate for a cause I believed in, it wasn't because I hated anyone; it was because I believed in something. And, let's face it, it's fun to protest. It's also fun to rant. There's always been a high rant-quotient here and that's a lot of what makes it so much fun to read. Many has been the time this page has had extraordinarily harsh words for President Bush, for instance. The tone was much the same, but people who say you're full of hate now never seemed to see it that way then....

Fuck 'em. You are who you are. If that's not good enough for them, let them go back into their little echo chamber in which no-one ever disagrees with them and where, of course, no-one hates anybody. Except those 'evil' conservatives, who don't count anyway.

Don't sweat it. People who can't handle being challenged in their beliefs wind up being very, very dull. If the 'de-linker' isn't boring now, he/she will be soon.

Reading through these comments I see several people saying they miss the "old Michele." Well, I haven't been reading this blog long enough to know the "old Michele" or even the "new" one very well, but I think people build up fantasy personalities of people they know online. You can't know very much about a person you only know on through words on a screen so we tend to fill in the blanks with our own assumptions. Then when something happens to make the person reveal a bit more of themselves some people will say "she's changed" when they ought to be saying "wow, I didn't know that about her."

There are a lot of people in my blogroll that I disagree with. It would be a very short list if I only linked to people I agree with because no two people are exactly alike in their opinions. It doesn't show much confidence in your own opinions if you are afraid to hear other people's opinions.