A Small Victory: bongs and thongs and amish porn

bongs and thongs and amish porn

Take 36 hours without a cigarette. Add NyQuil, two sleepless nights in a row, antibiotics, Motrin and Ventolin and you have a mind that knows not what it sees or hears.

I was lying on the couch, hoping that a coma would overtake me. No such luck. While my body resisted all attempts to move it, my brain, sadly, was still in action. The tv was on and the remote was far away.

The combination of all the above factors plus an overdose of campaign ads flipped some sort of switch in my brain that caused every signal in my head to get crossed.

Here's what I heard and saw: Tom Golisano, should he be elected as governor of New York, will legalize both marijuana and prostitution. The money garnered from the prostitutes will go into the school system so that our children's education will be funded by sex. (Why not - it's already funded by gambling)

I finally fell asleep, with thoughts of a Career Day booth at my daughter's school featuring bongs and thongs.

I dreamed I won the bloodthirsty blogger contest and Laurence sent his killer cats after me. I caught them, sliced them up and then baked them into a beautiful loaf of bread which I served Laurence for dinner, along with a nice glass of Chardonnay. I laughed when he slathered his slice of bread with butter. Then Carl McCall came storming into the house, singing Funky Cold Medina and searching for Laurences's kitties. I hid under the table while the LAPD came in and cuffed McCall, accusing him of taking pictures of a polling place. He said he just wanted to hide out in the bushes and try to hear if anyone was talking about him. The cops told him to go home and watch the debates. Laurence came out of the house, butter dripping from his chin and bread crumbs all over his shirt. "That was some damned good bread," he said. "It tasted like pussy." Golisana laughed so hard that milk came out of his nose.

I did not make any of that up. This is your brain. This is your brain on medication and too much blogging.

I need a cigarette.

Comments

I wish this Tom Golisano would run in Florida.

Posted by: Xkot | October 29, 2002 08:08 PM

Here, have one of mine. And, don't tell anyone I gave it to you. Don't forget that Ventolin! (Did you do a nebulizer treatment? Or just the inhaler? The neb would DEFINITELY make one think of bongs........)

Feel better soon!

Smooches and stuff!

Posted by: Da Goddess | October 29, 2002 08:08 PM

NyQuil will do that to ya...

Posted by: Laurence Simon | October 29, 2002 08:08 PM

What ever happened to dreaming of little pink elephants when your hooped up on Nyquil??

Posted by: Tracy | October 29, 2002 08:12 PM

Joanie, I did a nebulizer treatment in the morning, now I'm just using the inhaler.

Tracy, that's what margaritas are for.

Posted by: michele | October 29, 2002 08:14 PM

Golisano is working pretty hard to get the "north country" vote. Pataki...Golisano...i hate them both.

may i 'rita with you please?

Posted by: bran | October 29, 2002 08:25 PM

i've always found margaritas are better cold medicine than NyQuil. however they are far less hallucinogenic. well, somewhat less. and a nebulizer too? whoo-eee!

Posted by: kd | October 29, 2002 08:54 PM

NO! NO! NO! no smoking!

this is too entertaining...

i really DO hope you feel better soon. really.

Posted by: ratty | October 29, 2002 09:44 PM