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more oxygen!

more oxygen!

It's hard to be outraged or witty when you are bogged down with antiobotics, a hacking cough and a lack of sleep. I've quit smoking (again) for the final time. That rattling in my chest this morning - and the subsequent vision I had - scared the living crap out of me.

I imagined a future me, rolling down the aisles of Target in my moveable chair thing that I bought on QVC, my dutiful husband lugging my oxygen tank, trying to keep up with me. I'd be a menace in those aisles, screeching my tires and popping wheelies while the other old ladies recoiled in horror.

"More oxygen, damn it!" And my poor husband, once so young and full of hope, now relegated to being my breath regulator, would run after me and turn the dial up on the tank. We'd leave the store and I'd light up a cigarette, mindless of the wheezing in my throat.

It all sounds like so much fun, but I think I'll pass. Bad enough that my poor husband, being 20 somewhat years younger than me old, will someday suffer the humility (or my humility) of having to change my Depends. I don't need him chasing me down the aisles of a department store, waving my oxygen tank after me.

So what was I saying?

Yes, I've quit smoking for good and that only means more vitriol, rage and misdirected anger from me. This may qualify me yet for the new position Bill is holding elections for.

I'm headed for the couch soon. Me, the tv, and some NyQuil. I have to find something to watch that will get that vision of the future out of my head.

Comments

Oh poor Michele.
I've already given you the "quit all your vices if you're going to kick cigs" routine, right? How it's gonna be a lot easier if you stop everything you used to accompany with smoking, like listening to certain bands, drinking certain things, hanging out with certain people, all those habits that are better served with a mouthful of smoke? Sure I have. Just checking.
See, there's no way I could have Nyquil and not a cigarrette, once upon a time. Let me tell you right now that Bauhaus is so off limits for you this month. ;) (I was 18 when I quit. see.)

Kisses for your nicotine-sweating forehead,

Oh poor Michele.
I've already given you the "quit all your vices if you're going to kick cigs" routine, right? How it's gonna be a lot easier if you stop everything you used to accompany with smoking, like listening to certain bands, drinking certain things, hanging out with certain people, all those habits that are better served with a mouthful of smoke? Sure I have. Just checking.
See, there's no way I could have Nyquil and not a cigarrette, once upon a time. Let me tell you right now that Bauhaus is so off limits for you this month. ;) (I was 18 when I quit. see.)

Kisses for your nicotine-sweating forehead,

mmmhm, that was worth saying twice. frickin' erroneous error messages.

"20 somewhat years younger than me" huh?

Wow. That medicine kicked in quicker than I thought. 18 years younger! 18!

Oh wow -- speaking of cold turkey... Good luck!

Man, I hope I didn't give you what I had! Feel better soon...

I tried quitting many times and failed at each attempt. A friend told me to think of cifgarettes as your very best friend, one who died. Remember to enjoy all the good times you had, but realize that you will never enjoy that friend's company again. It worked for me, now 15 years. Do I miss my friend, sure I do.