A Small Victory: rock over london, rock on chicago

rock over london, rock on chicago

That Aileen Wuornos was one slick player. By giving some cryptic last words before she was executed yesterday, she made sure that people will be talking about her long after her death.

Ok, maybe I'm the only one talking about her, but still. Did you see what her last words were?

"I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock and I'll be back like 'Independence Day' with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, big mother ship and all. I'll be back."

From what I gather (using my mad interpretive skillz), she will be back on June 6, aboard a mothership with The Rock and perhaps Will Smith (but hopefully not Randy Quaid), coming to either

a) kill us all
b) take part in a publicity stunt for the June 6 premiere of Independence Day 2: Killer Women From Outer Space
c) go on a world tour to promote the use of "Jesus Christ in a Mothership" instead of "Jesus Christ on a pogo stick" or
d) she was just paraphrasing the Geto Boys: "Back up in your ass with the resurrection!"

I think if I knew I was about to be fried and had a chance to say some last words, I would make sure they were words that would leave people guessing for ages to come. Scholars would spend countless hours analyzing the strange, hidden context within my words. There would be books and articles written about my final utterance and its impact on the future of the planet.

Or not. I would probably just recite Wesley Willis lyrics, going out singing "Birdman kicked my ass" or "I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump, I whipped Superman's ass," and maybe I'd go out with a sly smile on my face.

Seriously, if you wanted to be remembered for all time, what would your last words be?

Comments

First, I make a million dollars somehow during the course of my life. (Don't ask how, we're talking theoretical here.)

Next, later on in life, I withdraw that million dollars from the bank. (So there'd be a record of it being withdrawn.)

Next, I burn it. (Ooh!)

And finally, on my deathbed, my last words:

"There's a million dollars buried somewhere under Ronald Reagan's childhood home in Eureka, Illinois. Whoever finds it can keep it."

Obviously, the majority of people wouldn't believe the story. But I'm counting on a small percentage of slightly unhinged Americans to attack the house in the dead of night with shovels and pickaxes for decades afterward.

Posted by: jima | October 10, 2002 07:38 AM

"They never gave up, but I got away with it. Heh, heh."
"All those precious jewels. Hid them with the 'llama'. Hah!"
"Hid them real good. Hah. Heh. Never find them. Bastards."
"Llama's got my teeth! Llama's got my teeth!"
"Hahahahahhahaha..." choke

Posted by: GeekMan | October 10, 2002 08:47 AM

"Rosebud..."

Posted by: Brian | October 10, 2002 09:22 AM

alright then..

Posted by: shannon | October 10, 2002 09:48 AM

Cthulhu will destroy us all in the end....

Posted by: dagny | October 10, 2002 10:32 AM

Okay, Jima wins. The end.

Posted by: mikrophon | October 10, 2002 03:36 PM

Yaay, I'm a winner! In your face, Oscar Wilde!!!

Posted by: jima | October 10, 2002 04:00 PM

Yea, Jima is a winnner, alright.