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bugs, bush and bongs

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bugs, bush and bongs

I started to watch the speech last night. I was interrupted quite a few times:

DJ: Mom, where's my baseball bat?
Me: In your bag, by the door, hey....what do you need a baseball bat for?
DJ: To kill this giant, humongous bug that's on my floor.
(I run into the room)
Me: DJ, that's not a bug. That's a dirty sock.
DJ: Made you look! Hahahaha!

I go back in the living room to watch the rest of the speech. Two minutes later:

Natalie: Moooooooooooooom!!
(Sounds like an emergency. I go running into the bedroom)
Me: What's the matter?
Natalie: Can you get me a drink of water?
Me: Any reason you can't get it yourself?
Natalie: I'm too tired to walk all the way into the kitchen.
Me: Get it yourself.

I go back into the living room to attempt to watch the rest of the speech in peace. Justin has flipped the channels while I was gone. I'm about to yell at him to turn it back when I see Henry Rollins standing in Drew Carey's kitchen. I sit on the couch, and Justin and I watch Rollins do his usual overacting. I got some kind of guilty pleasure feeling when Henry punched Drew in the face.

Then the phone rings, the laundry needs to go in the dryer, the dinner dishes still have to be done and before I know it, it's 10:30 and I want nothing more than to go to bed. So I do.

One channel, maybe MSNBC, maybe not, is replaying the speech in its entirety. I turn it up, lay my head on the pillow with the intent to listen, and promptly fall asleep.

I dream about boats blowing up and planes falling from the sky. In one part of the dream, Bush appears as a giant Monty Python-esque head in the clouds, his lips moving out of synch with his voice. He is talking about Canada while a war wages on below him. Fighting the war are plastic green army men, all moving awkwardly because of the bases attached to their feet. What looks like a mushroom cloud appears in the distance, but on further insepction turns out to be a group of naked college professors smoking pot out of a bong made from a lightsaber.

So I missed the speech, but in reading through the recaps and critiques on the news sites, I most likely didn't miss much. He said nothing new, he pulled no rabbits out of hat, he didn't wave a sword and accept the challenge of a duel. In the end, people will hear or not hear exactly what they want. While some will view the president's speech as proof that we should not invade, others will see it as definitive proof that we should.

As long as their are words to spin and broad brushes to paint with and conculsions to leap to, there will never be any solidarity on this issue. Ain't that America?

Comments

It's very possible that Henry Rollins punching Drew Carey was more incisive and satisfying. Who was your RH host before?

I ask re: RH because you can add it and two more domains to your Dreamhost server for $4.95 a month, if you think you've got room.

Ain't that America?
If you start singing about little pink houses for you and me in your next post, I'll sue! (Ain't that American, too?)

Heard a rumour on the news over here that a certain senator (not named here because i can't remember it exactly) got a bug up his ass in congress because NBC, ABC and CBS didn't show the speech live at all.

Is that true?

If so, why the fuss? Isn't all this just a fait accompli anyhow? We know there's almost certainly gonna be an offensive of some sort, so Bush's speeches are surely just attempts to persuade the UN and various wavering governments to join in. If we know Bush's position, and no developments have occured (outside of possible clandestine negotiations), then why all the fuss about not giving it blanket coverage?