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i'll bite your legs off!

i'll bite your legs off!

OFFICIALS SUGGEST U.S./IRAQI DUEL

bknight3.jpg

SADDAM: None shall pass.
BUSH: What?
SADDAM: None shall pass.
BUSH: If you have no Weapons of Mass Destruction, I have no quarrel with you, Saddam, but I must have unfettered access.
SADDAM: Then you shall die.
BUSH: I command you as Leader of the Free World to stand aside!
SADDAM: I move for no American.
BUSH: So be it!
[parry thrust]
[BUSH chops SADDAM's left arm off after a short battle]
BUSH: Now stand aside, you madman.
SADDAM: 'Tis but a scratch.
BUSH: A scratch? Your arm's off!
SADDAM: No, it isn't.
BUSH: Well, what's that then?
SADDAM: I've had worse.
BUSH: You liar!
SADDAM: Come on you pansy!
[parry thrust]
[BUSH chops SADDAM's right arm off]
BUSH: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[SADDAM kicks BUSH in the head while he is praying]
SADDAM:come on then.
BUSH: What?
SADDAM: Have at you!
BUSH: You are indeed crazed, Saddam, but the fight is mine.
SADDAM: Oh, had enough, eh?
BUSH: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
SADDAM: Yes I have.
BUSH: Look!
SADDAM: Just a flesh wound.

At this point Bush turns around, looks at Cheney and says, "Oh, fuck this, let's just bomb 'em."

Posted by on October 3, 2002 04:17 PM |

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference i'll bite your legs off!:

» I Wish I'd Thought Of That! from Ipse Dixit
I think michele has provided the definitive assessment of the whole Bush/Saddam duel story. Spot on! [Read More]

Tracked on October 3, 2002 08:31 PM

» http://bloghit.com/booklog/ from booklog
Official Suggests U.S.-Iraq duel. [via Michelle who's dialogue is fucking hysterical.] [Read More]

Tracked on October 3, 2002 10:02 PM

» http://bloghit.com/archives/2002_10.php from BlogHit!
Official Suggests U.S.-Iraq duel. [via Michelle who's dialogue is fucking hysterical.] [Read More]

Tracked on October 3, 2002 10:04 PM

» Good One, Michele! from Cold Fury
Michele at A Small Victory has a wonderful take on the upcoming Bush/Saddam duel. Don't miss it, and make sure [Read More]

Tracked on October 4, 2002 09:35 AM

» Classic from Swerdloff's Personal Life
This was my laugh of the day. [Read More]

Tracked on October 4, 2002 05:11 PM

Comments

Oh, that is TOO funny.

(and I fear you have too much free time...)

Posted by: Tracy | October 3, 2002 05:21 PM

Saddam: "I'm invincible!"
Bush: "You're a looney."
Saddam: "I'll bite your knees off!"

And here we see the tie to Al Qaeda.

Posted by: PhotoDude | October 3, 2002 06:53 PM

Just wait until we deploy our stealth shubbery's. That'll learn 'em.

Posted by: General Roger the Shrubber | October 3, 2002 07:11 PM

you need to combine the clasic sketch with the clasic..
http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf

Posted by: Chuck | October 3, 2002 08:02 PM

That is hysterical.

Posted by: Michelle | October 3, 2002 08:04 PM

I wrote a letter to GW with suggestions for his little war thing. http://www.flummel.com - Oct 3.

Posted by: Karan | October 3, 2002 08:23 PM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Mike | October 4, 2002 09:32 AM

Bush to Saddam: I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

Riyadh delenda est!

Posted by: Cato the Youngest | October 4, 2002 12:09 PM

"It's not just a rabbit... it's a REALLLLLY mean rabbit - with sharp pointy teeth!!!"

Posted by: Mother Clucker | October 4, 2002 01:30 PM

Bush aside to Cheney: Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

Posted by: Rita | October 4, 2002 02:58 PM

Bush-"You must tell me if or if not you have ANY weapons of mass destruction in this castle!"

Saddam-"I dont wanna talk to you no more you sons of a food trough wiper! I wave my private parts at your aunties!"

Cheney-"What a strange person...!"

Posted by: Kevin | October 4, 2002 11:20 PM

Can we use the Holy Hand Grenade while we're at it?

B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Thank you!

Posted by: Da Goddess | October 4, 2002 11:48 PM

Bush-"You must tell me if or if not you have ANY weapons of mass destruction in this castle!"

Saddam - "Don't have a cow."

Posted by: Amos | October 6, 2002 11:47 AM

very funny indeed. :-)

Posted by: Kiril | October 7, 2002 06:49 PM