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i'll make a celebrity out of you yet

i'll make a celebrity out of you yet

Stephen Green hired me as his agent. I think he's a sure bet based on the lovely song he wrote yesterday.

As soon as I get done taking the "How To Be An Agent in 5 Days" home course (taken in tandem with "How To Have No Soul"), I'll be rolling in the dough.

I got him a gig on the Carson Daily show. All he had to do was wear a dress and answer to "Britney." Difficult client that he is, he turned it down because his knees don't look good in a dress. Damn vain celebrities.

So I booked him on the next installment of Celebrity Boxing. He'll be fighting Ann Coulter. I suppose he should brush up on his name-calling tactics.

If anyone else needs an agent, just call me. I've got a copy of the American Idol slavery papers contract and I'm not afraid to use it.

On a side note, the kind doctor upped my Paxil dose by a whole bunch. Don't be frightened if I start writing about kitties and puppies and flowers. It won't last.


Appropriately linked...

Ann Coulter fights dirty and underhanded. Better train Stephen in the art of kicking and hair-pulling.

Ann Coulter once started out a column saying that "we won't know if Gary Condit is guilty until Alan Derschawitz starts to defend him."

That line bought her a lot of slack in my book.

Hey, I might be needing an agent. I just know that my writing career is about to take off, so when I decided it's time to pull a Hemingway and swallow a shotgun, you can be there to get me into rehab. 'Kay??

i'm no pundit. but i would dearly love to do Celebrity Boxing with Ann Coulter. i could be a blogging celebrity! yeah! well, to become one, i need a good agent. or some good content. or, oh, hell, can i just punch her?

Maybe I should just make a tv show called "Which Blogger Wants to Punch Out Ann Coulter?"

Any takers?

oo! oo! me! pick me!

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