and now for something completely different
and now for something completey different
a small victory theater presents:
MORTICIAN: (played by played by Tony Blair):Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER (played by George W. Bush): Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON (played by bin Laden): I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Comments
I think it's another chapter in this massive rope-a-dope strategy...greatly exaggerate reports of his death until he pulls a Samuel Clemens...
Posted by: Sekimori | September 15, 2002 01:18 PM
Bravely, brave Bin Laden bravely ran away...
Posted by: Solonor | September 15, 2002 08:29 PM
He's not dead! He's just pining for the fjords!
Posted by: Cracker Barrel Philosopher | September 16, 2002 08:32 AM
He's not dead, he's just pining for the fjords...!
Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Jihadi Kalifa wannabe.
Posted by: Jennie Taliaferro | September 16, 2002 08:37 AM
That is an ex-terrorist!
Posted by: Andrea Harris | September 16, 2002 11:18 AM
Classic.
Posted by: Dawn | September 16, 2002 01:54 PM
Classic.
Posted by: Dawn | September 16, 2002 01:54 PM
ni
Posted by: g | September 17, 2002 05:46 AM
Sorry. We no longer say "ni". We now say "icky-icky-icky-patang-zeem-wah-zom..... (ni) Shhhh!
Posted by: Andrew X | September 17, 2002 06:49 PM
Just don't say "mattress"....
Posted by: Ross B | September 18, 2002 11:52 PM