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in and out

in and out

Public Service Announcement:


Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people. Get with the program before I have to slam your heads repeatedly in the elevator doors.

Anyone have an extra Valium?


That is a pet peeve of mine too, but unfortunately I'm often guilty as well.

I reckon I might have some extra leftover from my trip.

All that I have is vodka. Will that help any?

I would agree with this but hell I live in the back woods, I havnt got on an elevator since Eli was born in the hospital. So I wont.. in fact i will even shut up now.

Vodka, straight up. Absolut please. And a cigarette, thank you.

"And a cigarette, thank you."

Nope. No backsliding now; you've been (publicly) doing so well. ;)

jay posted about that a bit ago too -- from him: Oh my! Look at that! What were the odds that someone was going to be on the freakin' elevator, and would need to get off...in the lobby that you're standing in!!

I could say the same for subway trains...this pisses me the hell off!

I've been meaning to blog about elevator etiquette for a while now. One of these days . . .

Frickin' lowlife businessmen-commuters getting on the LIRR without even looking up to see me getting off the train. One of these days...third rail I tell ya!

I've come up with several ideas on combating the people trying to get on the train, as I'm trying to get out. #1 idea: scream loudly as the doors open. #2: projectile vomit. #3: brandish a knife and cackle. #4: jump out as the doors open, bowling over the people trying to get in, and stomp on their prostrate forms until they beg for mercy.

Amen. A-fucking-men. What is the hurry people? The elevator ain't movin' until the doors close anyway!

I'm going with the projectile vomiting.

I've taken to expressing my discontent out loud as I battle my way out of the lift (elevator, whatever).

"You know, it would really help if you let people off before getting on."

"Wow. You must really be in a hurry. Just as well none of the people getting off have anything important to do."

"Oh, excuse me. Am I getting in your way?"

I hate that. I really do. common sense.