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september

september

It's September. I'll be reviewing/writing about something to do with September 11 ever morning until that date.

The morning of September 11 was a bit mundane, posting wise. I had just switched from using an FTP on a free hosting site to having my own domain and using Blogger.

At 5:40 a.m, my I was complaining about people protesting Halloween.

At 9:00 a.m., I was sitting at work, tryiing to figure out how to get Blogger to put my posts in the right order.

At 9:02, everything changed.

9:49 and the news was confusing, misleading and frightening:

The pentagon has been hit. New York city has been closed off. The White House is being evacuated. I know you know all of this already. This is so fucking frightening. I'm sitting here in a federal building and I'm getting nervous. Ok, they just said the Washington Mall is on fire. Shit.Shit.Shit.

9:49 AM

By 12:20, things have gone from scary to surreal:

This is really eerie. The silence outside. Living so close to Kennedy Airport, the sound of planes getting ready to land is a constant drone throughout the day. And now the skies are empty except for the thin veil of smoke drifting slowly this way. I am in the twilight zone

7:41: My cousins, both firemen working the scene, make contact with the family. We have been watching the news for about nine straight hours:

We decided to go over to my mom's house and have dinner with the family. My dad is very upset about all the firemen that are unaccounted for. He knows so many of them. We finally heard from one of my cousins and we saw the other on television, so we know they are ok. Big relief. But still, it's disconcerting to think that they are in the middle of this all, digging through rubble and hoping against hope to find someone alive. Every structure around there is so unsafe right now.

And still, I am watching the news, unable to take my eyes off of it, yet also unable to put it all together in my head. I am not feeling anything now. I am numb.

8:09 p.m. Confirmation of the news my father was dreading; his close friend, Peter Ganci, is dead.

10:52, details of horror come in.

By 11:08, I have had enough. I go to bed. I didn't sleep, but laid there, CNN muted on the tv, staring at horrifying graphics flashing across the screen.

That was just about a year ago. Sometimes it seems like only days, and other times it feels like another lifetime ago.

So many people say to me that nothing has changed. The world is still the same, life goes on, people get back to the business of living mundane lives.

Bullshit.

Sometimes I will be sitting in my dad's backyard with him, just watching a ball game and having a beer, and out of nowhere dad will say, "I miss him so much."

Has your world changed? Has your life changed? Remember when you clutched your loved ones and swore to live each day to the fullest and be thankful for life and everything in it? Have you done that?

Comments

Very much so Michele. The world turned upside down that day and has never righted itself. I still tear whenever I read something about that day, one moment the vents seem so surreal and the next moment the reality comes crashing down. I still have nightmares and part of me still fears flying.
Everyday we try and live life. The days speed by, the years seem to shorten, life is meant to be lived.

Nicely said,Michele. I work in Times Square and it still feels surreal to me. It most definitely doesn't feel as though a year has passed, that's for certain. The wounds still feel raw at times.

By "the world" I assume you mean "America"?

No. I mean, even if you live elsewhere, did it have an effect on you. On "your" own little private world?

You don't have to be an American to be moved by the fact that so many people died at the hands of so few in one day.

Please, elaborate on how 9/11 has affected other parts of the world, such as Scandinavia, Zimbabwe, China, Australia, Brazil, Greece, just to name a few.
I'm not saying they were not affected by 9/11, but rather that I don't know how everyday life has changed in countries throughout the world since 9/11, you seem to. Or did you in fact define "the world" as the US?

A lot of people died that day in New York, but a lot of people die from disasters, war, famine, etc, throughout the world.
I don't know why, but somehow the 9/11 deaths seem more "important" than the millions dying in the rest of the world..

Again, I said "Has your world changed," not THE world or your COUNTRY.

I'm speaking on a personal level here. When disasters happen in other countires, it effects me. When millions of people die each year in floods and avalanches, when hundreds of school children die in a coal mining landslide, when a killer walks into a building and murders random people, it effects me, as a human being. Not as an American, but as a person with a heart and soul.

I'm not asking if your environment has changed, if your government has changed, if your every day life looks different than it used to.

Has it effected your mind or your soul? Did you shed a tear, do you continue to shed a tear, or do you think only Americans care simply because it happened in America?

Tomas, I was using this space to show how that event effected my life, personally. I was simply asking if and how it effected any one else.

Thank you for trivializing my feelings and making me feel as if I am being a snobby, isolationist American for showing my sorrow.

No, the five thousand dead on 9/11 did not affect me any more than the millions more that die in the rest of the world.
Lives of New Yorkers is no more important to me than, for instance, the estimately two million children killed in warfare during the last decade.

Tomas, I only asked if your world has changed. You could have said no without making my feelings, written in my own space, seem insignifcant and unecessary.

I'll check my chrystal ball next time.

Michele, don't worry about Tomas.
Please keep up with your posts. People in the United States were changed by that date. If that doesn't mean anything to Tomas, he is very short-sighted.
I don't live in the area, so I plan on blogging about my reactions on September 10, and leaving my blog empty save for a "We remember" on September 11.

You didn't understand a single word I said, did you Sheril?

and I emailed you, the first person to tell you that the 911 thing was a big conspiracy - how could you forget???

Your blog is great and I enjoy reading all the entries.

But it is AFFECT, not effect. The events of 9/11 affected you deeply. The effects of 9/11 were deep rooted.

I don't know why, but I have this real problem with AFFECT and EFFECT.

As a former English Major, I horrify myself sometimes.

I wasn't personally affected or effected but it didn't touch me in a significant way. I'm just not that empathetic. I'm not sure if that's a fault or not but its me.

I am, however, far more politically aware in the aftermath and a little more aware of global issues, international law and some of the problems that occur in the rest of the world.

And I'm far more distrustful of media, television news media in particular.

In the aftermath, at most, I'm far more socially conscious.

I just don't know if that's a result of the events or the result of bloggin'.

I think you'll find IKEA and Volvo experienced a drop in sales volume, Tomas, and as those are Sweden's biggest contributions to the 21st century, aside from the re-releases of ABBA CD's, 9/11 probably affected you more than you believe.

Tomas, having a weblog does mean the possibility of having your posts questioned, but just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

I hope you don't fill all your sick days wandering the internet, looking to question someone's thoughts.

Mike: As the self-appointed specialist on national world contributions you are, maybe you should look outside your window once in a while?

Who's questioning anyones thoughts? What are you talking about? Did you just make that up? Are you high?

Karma's a bitch yo, after your rant about how that "fool" misused the word "your." Goodness sakes, no one's perfect after all!