A Small Victory: timber!

Timber!

I imagine the meeting went something like this:

Advisor #1: Now, about those forest fires...
Bush: Boy, I bet my approval rating would go sky high if I could put out all those fires.
Advisor #1: Well, it's not like you could really put the fires out. Literally, at least.

Bush proceeds to unzip his fly and laugh like a little school boy.

Advisor #2: Mr. President, you couldn't put out a match with that thing.
Advisor #1: We thought perhaps if we tackled this from an economic point of view, we could find a solution.
Bush: Looks like that Smokey fella didn't do a very good job, did he? Can we fire him? Can't we make him a scapegoat?
Advisor #2: Smokey?
Bush: Smokey the bear!!!
Advisor#1: Umm...Mr. President, Smokey the bear is just a.....
Advisor#2: (kicks advisor #1 under the table and whispers) Shhhh....he thinks Smokey is r-e-a-l.
Bush: Hey! I have a great idea!
Advisor #1 (groaning to himself): Great, Mr. President. What's your idea?
Bush: Oh, you're gonna love this! It's brilliant! See, if there were no trees, there wouldn't be any fires!!!
Advisor #2: No trees?
Bush: No trees! Remember that logger fella we met with once? He could do it. Him and all his friends!
Advisor #1 (to advisor #2) Actually, he might have a plan there.
Bush: (pumping his fists in the air) Take that, Smokey! Who can prevent forest fires? I can prevent forest fires!! I'm smarter than Smokey! Whoooo!

Comments

I can actually imagine him saying something like "That Smokey feller. Can't we fire him? Get it? Fire! I crack myself up sometimes."

Posted by: Annette | August 22, 2002 05:29 PM

You know, I was going to go there, but I figured someone would throw a tomato at me if I did.

Posted by: michele | August 22, 2002 05:32 PM

I think you must have a secret way to spy into the White House. That had to have been the meeting, verbatim.

Posted by: Kymberlie R. McGuire | August 22, 2002 05:38 PM

I'm sure Ashcroft will want to hook you up to a lie detector while probing for leaks.

Sounds kinda kinky, if it weren't Ashcroft.

Posted by: wKen | August 22, 2002 06:02 PM

Not so far fetched, getting rid of all the trees. You know, President Shrub's politico-moronic progenitor, Ronald R, once said while flying over some vast western forest..."If you've seen one tree, you've seen'me all".

Maybe if we just sort of saved out ONE TREE as a type, an example....that should be enough for gosh sake.

Posted by: fredf | August 22, 2002 08:37 PM

Ashcroft is the one who looks like The Smoking Man right?

Oh hell, they're all just a bunch of suits with heads.

Posted by: melly | August 22, 2002 09:54 PM

spot on!

great insight into what actually happens when dubya meets with a problem. ;o)

Posted by: Kristen | August 22, 2002 10:32 PM

Ahahahha! Ashcroft = Cigarette Smoking Man. Melly nailed it.

Posted by: Glace | August 23, 2002 07:36 AM

this monarchy headed by our selected president is really starting to piss me off

Posted by: btezra | August 23, 2002 06:42 PM