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elephant parade

elephant parade

I read an elephant joke tonight.

My father told me this one when I was small:

Q: How do you catch an elephant?

A: First, you dig a really big hole. Then you put peanuts all around the edge of the hole. Then, when the elephant comes over to eat one of the peanuts, you kick him in the ash hole.

Funny guy, my father.

Tell me some elephant jokes. I need to giggle.


Q ~ Why were the elephants banned from the swimming pool ?
A ~ Because they couldn't hold their trunks up

Q ~Why can't two elephants go swimming?
A ~They only have one pair of trunks between them.

Q: How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch?
A: Paint its toenails red.

Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
A: See? It works!

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: "Here come the elephants."

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing dark sunglasses?
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes coming?
A: "You can't fool me again with those disguises!"

Interesting, isn't it, that many elephant jokes are told two or three in a series. Such was the state of humor back in the day.

Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't get down from an elephant, you get down from a duck.

Q: How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
A: Open the door.

Q: How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
A: Take out the elephant.

Q: The Lion King had a meeting. All the animals attended, except for one. Which?
A: The giraffe...he's still in the refrigerator!

Q: You're walking in the forest, and you come across an alligator-infested swamp. How do you get across?
A: Swim! The alligators are at the meeting...

Q: How do you know if an elephant's been in your fridge?
A: His footprints are in the pizza! (My four year-old's favorite joke)

Q: Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?
A: Because that's when elephants are jumping out of palm trees.

Q: Why are pygmies so small?
A: They went into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon.

This one's bad, but it made me laugh a while back, cause the kid who told me it was a little too young to get it, but thought it was funny anyways...

Q: How do you know you've passed an elephant?
A: Your butt hurts badly, and your toliet's really plugged.

what time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence.

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Veshka, an elephant joke I never heard before! And a good one, too.

Q: What should you do to a blue elephant?
A: Cheer it up.

Q: What should you do to a green elephant?
A: Wait until it gets ripe.

Q: What should you do to a red elephant?
A: Stop telling it dirty jokes.

Q: What should you do to a yellow elephant?
A: Teach it to be brave.

Q: What should you do to a white elephant?
A: Hold it's nose until it turns blue.

And my all-time favorite:

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and peanut butter?
A: Elephant doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.

Sadly, the only ephelant joke I know..

Q. What is grey and comes in quarts?
A. An elephant.


Q: Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?

A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.