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blowing roger clemens

blowing roger clemens

For the masses, who all want to know what the remark about Roger Clemens, my mother and blowjobs in the comments in the post below meant, a repeat of the March 25 post which it refers to:

special moments from my family album

scene: Palm Sunday, parent's living room, whole family present.

Baseball season has not yet begun and the in-fighting between the Yankee and Met fans in my family has already gotten down and dirty.

Dad is a Met fan. Mom is a Yankee fan. Dad has been goading mom all day, making cutting remarks here and there about the Yankees. They trade Gooden and Strawberry jokes, good naturedly ribbing each other about past team transgressions.

After dinner we sit in the living room and the jokes continue. Dad mentions something about the Yankee lockeroom incident. I don't remember exactly what it was, but mom ends up having to defend the integrity of the entire Yankee team. Shouting ensues.

"You're always defending them, no matter what they do!"
"I am NOT!"
"You're a whore! You're a Yankee whore!"
"Did you just call me a whore?"
"Yes! You might as well be giving blow jobs to Roger Clemens!"
Silence. Everyone stares at my father. We stifle giggles while my mother looks absolutely enraged.
"You have the nerve to say that in front of our children?"
Dad looks sheepishly at my mom.
"I'm sorry."
"Ok"
"I meant to say Derek Jeter."
We roll on the floor laughing while my mom chases dad around the living room with the fireplace poker.

Just another Kodak moment.

It all makes sense now, doesn't it?

Posted by on August 16, 2002 05:29 PM |

Comments

or a good "priceless" commercial? :-)

Posted by: Jenna | August 16, 2002 05:42 PM

No, but I don't think having to tell your kid what a blow job is could ever make sense

Posted by: Matt | August 16, 2002 06:23 PM

No, no no Matt. One has nothing to do with the other. Two different stories.

I should stop talking about blow jobs so often, I guess. It gets confusing.

Posted by: michele | August 16, 2002 06:32 PM

That's rich.:)

Posted by: verymodern | August 16, 2002 06:54 PM

That story made my day... although I can't say I've ever heard either of my parents say the word "blow job."

Posted by: Katie | August 17, 2002 01:29 AM

i just laughed so hard and loud i woke the sleeping boyfriend. that is just...excuse me while i laugh some more.

Posted by: aden | August 17, 2002 04:44 AM

So....did she catch him? Was there permanent brain damage? Did he commence to wearing a helmet around the home...sort of a reinforced toupee?

Posted by: fredf | August 18, 2002 09:16 AM

This entry is so funny it defies comment. But I just have to tell you it's wonderful :)

Posted by: Patty | August 18, 2002 06:39 PM