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two contests in one

Two, two, two contests in one!

The brain's capacity to think of interesting and/or humorous stories to write is in direct correlation with the brain's set of stressors for the previous days.

I got nothing.

Don't say I didn't warn you about the likelihood of this site becoming Fark-lite until after the wedding.

Today, I offer you a double contest (because some of you complained that the Photoshop contest was discriminatory against people who did not own any photo-editing software. I think it was also discriminatory against those who do not own a sense of humor, but what are they doing here anyhow?)

So, this is a Photoshop and Caption contest rolled into one and sliced in half. You can do either/or. Both or one. Combined or separate. Will that be white or wheat?

Or you can completely ignore this and do none of the above.

Today's picture:

(click for big scary size)

Captions below, Photoshop entries to me at afireinsideblog AT yahoo.com. Hurry. I need laughter.

Comments

We have to hurry, Barney. The Forces of Evil are right behind us!

Now are you my dog or a terrorist midget in a fur burka?

No Spot. Not that one. Behind the news guy. That's Daschle. You know what to do.

Hi, I'm George, I like pretzels, baseball and declaring war on third-world countries. I'm looking for that special someone who can help out around the house and keep me intellectually stimulated. If you're white, female and have an easy-going attitude towards fidelity, enjoy short flights across the country in my private jet and can keep financial details secret then give me a call on 1-800-BLOWPOTUS. Just don't tell my wife.

Stop squriming, Barney! I know it's uncomfortable, but customs will never look for my stash there. If you promise to be a good dog, there's an extra cookie in it for you. Good boy!

upon further reflection, change my caption to:

Hurry, Toto! The wicked witch of the Mid-East is right behind us!

Dick, are you there Dick? It's me George. We did this for your safety, you know.

"Is it as good for you as it is for me, barney?"

Bush.......George Bush.
snap
It's fly fly time Sparky!

Headline:

Inspired by a recent late-night viewing of Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Running Man," President Bush attaches his own Quatto.

Co-opting the movie's tagline, President Bush issues a challenge to his fellow Republican, "This is a game that nobody survives but Schwarzenegger has yet to play."

Mr. Schwarzenegger was unavailable for response.

We have that exact same photo on posters all over the state (South Dakota) here!

The poster reads "Vote for John Thune or the dog gets it."

I get to wage war on Iraq! Or, The dog goes down Titanic the slide!!