the mind of a bitter man
the mind of a bitter man
Excuse me while I get personal here. I need to rant and this seems like as good a place as any.
Apparently the ex has not been taking the news of my impending nutpials so well. This despite the fact that it's been four years since we've been together (nine years since we last slept in the same room) and despite the fact that he has a girlfriend with two kids that he is rather serious about.
Natalie called him today to see how we would split the driving when she starts basketball camp next week.
Mom said she can pick me up every day if you can drop me off.
I'm not helping your mother. She's on her own.
You wouldn't be helping mom, you would be helping your daugther.
I'm not doing crap for her.
It's for me, dad. I have to get there and back.
You have a stepfather now. Tell him to do it.
Natalie comes out of the room crying. She says "when is he going to learn to start thinking of somebody besides himself? Doesn't he realize he's hurting me instead of you?"
She's figuring it all out now.
I have never bad-mouthed my ex to his children. I always knew someday they would find out on their own what kind of person he is. I didn't want their view of him to come from my biased opinions.
I have tried everything. I am so incredibly civil to him that people often take me to task for it. I accomodate him and do favors for him all in the name of trying to make our kids' lives a bit easier. Most of the time, he wants none of it. He is rude to me, rude to my family and says unecessarily nasty things about my family and friend to the kids. I have given up trying. I don't even know what to do at this point.
Natalie does not want to go to his house this weekend. And who could blame her? I told her it's her choice to make but she has to talk to her father about it and tell him why she doesn't want to come.
I don't think there is anything in this world that could make someone like him see the destructive force of his ways. He is going to end up a lonely old man whose kids only call him on holidays because they feel like they have to. It's a shame, really. He has the potential to be a really good father if only he would stop insisting that the world revolves around his feelings.
I'm more sad than angry. I hate to see the kids hurt time and time again by their father's selfish, immature behavior. I hate the fact that he still cares so much about my personal life and what I do with it. I hate that this roller coaster shows no signs of stopping.