celebrity true stories part 2: moments of idiocy
celebrity true story part 2: moments of idiocy
I missed the boat. I could have made a lot of money selling my ANS stories to the tabloids. (please avoid using her name in the comments, as I don't want to end up with google searches for her, thank you).
It's too late. Now that everyone knows she is a full-fledged nut and an idiot to boot, the stories wouldn't play as well.
Not even the story about how she made me walk to the supermarket with her so she could ride the children's merry-go-round.
Not even the story about how she broke the folding chair when she sat in it.
Or how she drove us all crazy the day her geezer husband kicked the bucket, trying to get faxes to the hospital and fielding phone calls and generally babysitting her while she played the part of distraught gold digging wife.
Or how she made us all sit around, kids and all (even her young son) and watch her pitiful performance in some b-grade action movie, her proudest moment being when she makes porn-star love to the shower head.
You probably already read the story about the dog at the funeral.
I really should have went to The Star before the whole world realized that this woman has all the brain power of a dead battery and all the acting skills of David Arquette.
I'm out at least a thousand bucks, thanks to E!