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celebrity true stories part 2: moments of idiocy

celebrity true story part 2: moments of idiocy

I missed the boat. I could have made a lot of money selling my ANS stories to the tabloids. (please avoid using her name in the comments, as I don't want to end up with google searches for her, thank you).

It's too late. Now that everyone knows she is a full-fledged nut and an idiot to boot, the stories wouldn't play as well.

Not even the story about how she made me walk to the supermarket with her so she could ride the children's merry-go-round.

Not even the story about how she broke the folding chair when she sat in it.

Or how she drove us all crazy the day her geezer husband kicked the bucket, trying to get faxes to the hospital and fielding phone calls and generally babysitting her while she played the part of distraught gold digging wife.

Or how she made us all sit around, kids and all (even her young son) and watch her pitiful performance in some b-grade action movie, her proudest moment being when she makes porn-star love to the shower head.

You probably already read the story about the dog at the funeral.

I really should have went to The Star before the whole world realized that this woman has all the brain power of a dead battery and all the acting skills of David Arquette.

I'm out at least a thousand bucks, thanks to E!

Posted by on August 5, 2002 09:34 AM |

Comments

Who says it's too late to cash in on those stories? With this new show, I wouldn't be surprised if people want to hear more stories about the lunatic. And there's still the Biography channel.

Posted by: Bill | August 5, 2002 10:40 AM

But at least you still have all those dearly cherished memories.

Posted by: A Different Bill | August 5, 2002 11:25 AM

she comes across as sort of an endearing little nutball when she's sober enough to nail three words together. i'm sure you could still sell the stories. especially right now.

Posted by: redsugar | August 5, 2002 11:31 AM

um, ok, so she's too rich for her own good, hopped up on goofballs, and has the i.q. of a small soapdish. i still rather appreciate the fact that she modeled for guess jeans, being a (relatively) large sized woman who managed to do mainstream fashion.

i appreciate her for publicly being chubby.

Posted by: kd | August 5, 2002 03:08 PM

I believe I lost 15 IQ points in the 2 minutes we landed on the show, too horrified to flip away.

Posted by: robyn | August 5, 2002 03:49 PM

don't mess with David Arquette. I resent the use of his name in conjunction with... that, that whale.

Posted by: James | August 5, 2002 04:46 PM

That show was so not-funny. She was a dreadful person. OK, I liked the part where she was seducing the camera. ;) Why does anyone put up with that and was the guy in the ponytail your connection to her?

Posted by: Nancy | August 5, 2002 07:52 PM

oh, the horror. the horror!

Her poor son. He seems like a good kid.

I want to hear your stories, or read them somewhere. I'm never going to get over / accept how fucked up she is.

Posted by: Jessica | August 5, 2002 10:01 PM

Don't forget the Playboy channel; they may copy the "Behind the Music" idea.

Posted by: Linkmeister | August 5, 2002 10:07 PM

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=261922

Posted by: Jessica | August 6, 2002 01:54 PM

That's wild that you have so many stories about ANS. I am actually in her E! HTS for about 3 secs. I waitressed at the topless bar she worked at in Houston - when the crew from E! came in to film, none of the dancers wanted to be shown on film. Needless to say, I quickly volunteered. So if your ever watching the show (since it runs endlessly on E!) you will see me on stage and my name in the credits. And yes, I was FULLY clothed the whole time! LOL.

Posted by: Amanda | August 6, 2002 07:42 PM

I know that this is an old post, but I saw this and thought you might find it funny. T-shirt Hell (www.tshirthell.com) is selling shirts which say A.N. ate my little brother. (http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a136). Shrugs Hope you get something of a kick out of it.

Posted by: Veshka | August 20, 2002 01:44 AM