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movies that suck

movies that suck

Following Laurence's lead (ok, ripping him off paying him homage), I went through Metacritic's list of best and worst rated films. Laurence owns a lot more of the bad films than I do.

26. Rollerball. No, I don't own it. I just want to say that this movie is reason enough why remakes should be outlawed. Go see the original. Even the credits in that one are better than this piece of crap. I can't believe Jean Reno was in it.

29. Master of Disguise. Even the commercials make me want to stab Dana Carvey with a plastic knife until he's writhing on the floor.

31. Glitter. Come on, don't you want to see this just for the laughs?

70. Pokemon 3. Yea, we own it. What can I say, we own two Power Rangers movies, too. You know, the first Power Ranger movie sort of kicked ass. Really.

87. 3000 Miles to Graceland. How bad was this movie? We deny that we even watched it. We have tried to delete it from our memories.

104. Left Behind. Kirk Cameron. The Rapture. No thank you.

108. Hollow Man. This movie had more plot holes than Planet of the Apes. Besides, Kevin Bacon is really annoying.

133. Dude, Where's My Car? 5 minutes. That's how long I lasted before my brain cells melted.

159. I am Sam. Well, I liked it. A lot. What do metacritics know, anyhow?

160. Pokemon 2000. Nowhere as good as the first. I took several naps in the movie theater during this one.

Where was Jeepers Creepers? By far one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And Pearl Harbor?

Note that I have seen almost every movie on this list. I am going to add up the hours I wasted watching the crap that is supposed entertain the masses but only serves to give us something to complain about afterwards.

Watched 20 minutes of Eight Legged Freaks the other night before we realized it was going nowhere. Movies like that are why internet piracy is a good thing. Save your bucks, folks.

Tomorrow I tackle the best rated movies. Casino? I think not.

Posted by on August 4, 2002 09:14 PM |

Comments

I was just pointing out DVDs we own... we have Hollow Man on VHS and a friend loaned us 3000 Miles To Graceland and begrudgingly took it back when we wanted it out of here.

Posted by: Laurence Simon | August 4, 2002 09:49 PM

Hehe...just wait for the sequel - "Seriously, Dude, Where's My Car?"

Posted by: todd | August 4, 2002 11:46 PM

I want to cry every time the "Master of Disguise" commercial comes on. Good God, why did they make that movie?

Posted by: Christine | August 5, 2002 02:22 AM

oh come on - joe pesci getting the annoyign shit bashed out of him and sharon sotne doing her hooker made bad routine to the best of her abilities - plus the blueberry muffin scene as metaphor for downfalll of mop rule - casino rocked,

Posted by: g | August 5, 2002 03:01 AM

Gee I thought it was obvious why 'they' make bad movies. To give us all something to moan/laugh/bitch about!

Posted by: Gordon | August 5, 2002 04:02 AM

Of course I want to see Glitter. But only if I can watch that and Crossroads in the same sitting.

Posted by: TJ | August 5, 2002 08:42 PM

Trust me, you do not want to see Crossroads. It's not even good for laughs.

Posted by: michele | August 5, 2002 08:54 PM

Proud to say that I have never seen any of those movies except for ahem most of Left Behind.

Oh yeah, I saw most of 3000 Miles to Graceland at Oriental Cafe in Murfreesboro. Best Pad Thai in town, but the big screen tv and satellite service is a mixed blessing.

Is there some sort of genetic trait that allows people to tell if movies are just going to suck (Signs, Crossroads, xXx) allowing them to skip them entirely? I know that I can do that, but my roommates cannot.

Posted by: Mike | August 7, 2002 12:33 PM