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my villainous powers are comic book worthy, damn it!

my villainous powers are comic book worthy, damn it!

Hi, Super-Duper PanicMan here again, with my trusty sidekick Wedding Panic-Man.

Michele ate a dozen Krispy Kremes today. That was all me. I hired on Mr. EatAwayYourAnxiety Man and he did one hell of a job.

She's in a sugar/caffeine coma at the moment. After all the donuts, the three bottles of Peach Snapple (aka high fructose corn syrup in a bottle), 6 cups of coffee and two packs of Skittles, she hunkered down under her desk, shaking and crying and screaming "THE WEDDING IS OFF, YOU FUCKERS!" That was after a futile search for inexpensive but charming wedding bands, trying to book a hotel out east on the water but realizing this is high tourist season out there, and the dawning knowledge that her ex husband's looks out into the hallway where she has to stand in line to get her marraige license.

Ah, the work of a villain is never done. I still have so much more in me. And she's a bit disappointed that no one could come up with an anti-villain or appropriate superhero to help save her sanity.

She has been meaning to scrawl a little note to Stephen and his fiance, who are getting married this weekend, asking how they did it without being struck down by my powers. Easy enough for them. Stephen is known as the VodkaPundit. Vodka is one of the sworn enemies of Panic-Man.

I noticed that Michele has a plan of going home and having Vodka SnoCones for dinner. Looks like a job for Super Clumsy-Boy. If the vodka is all over the kitchen floor, she can't drink it, can she? Yea, I'm evil. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

posted by: Panic-Man

Comments

You better watch out, or RealityChick is gonna have to come over there and kick your ass. Because RealityChick knows that when it comes down to the day, the placemats and the wedding ring will take second place to the grin on Michele's and Justin's faces, and that the location of the honeymoon matters less than the two people taking it.
RealityChick KNOWS that Michele is a fine strong woman who knows where the really valuable things are, and that they're not the stuff you're stressing her with, dude.