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press 1 for an endless maze of automatons

press 1 for an endless maze of automatons

If I were the head of a large company - let's say for hypothetical reasons that company is a cell phone company - and it's called Sprint - I would make some changes.

The first thing I would do is to make sure that at least one of the gazillion of phone numbers on our website would reach a real live person. At the very least I would make sure one of those phone numbers with the automated services would tell you exactly how to get a live person.

And when you do get a live person, I would see to it that that person has at least something resembling a brain and would be able to tell you if they can't serve your needs, the person who can. That person, who would clearly annunciate their words instead of slurring in some bizarre drawl, would be able to direct you exactly where you have to go.

And when you do get to the person that the previous neanderthal has sent you to, you wouldn't be then transferred to 18 different people over the course of an hour, all of whom claim that the service you need is located in some other department for which they either don't have the number or the number they give you is controlled by someone named Claire who is virtual in nature and wants you to speak your needs into a computer chip and says things like hmmm and oohhh rather seductively.

I especially would want to see that none of the scenarios above would occur to you if you happen to be a customer who wants desperately to uprgrade their service to something more expensive than the service they currently have.

This is all hypothetical of course.

Of course.

Comments

Automated systems with seductive female voices turn me on, and thankfully it's cheaper than 1-900 lines.

Miss Cleo could have seen that one coming, honeychile.

i've had sprint pcs for 2 years now...

I still can't access any of my information on the web. The automated system doesn't recognize my phone number and no matter when I call, the standard response is "oh, we're working on our web services right now, try it next week"

I love it.

Oh, so that "the website is currently undergoing maintenance" is total crap?

its a total "get em off the phone" line. (phone line...heh...word humor)

they've been telling that to me since september 2000.