the circle jerk of hate
the circle jerk of hate
I suppose it's not a thing a decent human being would do; to feel joy when someone dies. But what if that person was not a decent human being himself? Should I still feel like the world is better off without them? As a supposedly civilized person, am I to mourn the death of someone who brought hate and violence upon the world? Of two people?
The military leader of Hamas is dead. I don't feel sympathy, I don't feel sorrow, I don't feel grief that the life of another human being was taken so violently. Salah Shehade was a terrorist.
Neo-nazi leader William Pierce is dead. Hang on while I go see if I can garner up some mournful sympathy. Checking.....waiting......
I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad his evil black heart stopped beating and I hope his death was long and drawn out and painful. I hope that in his last fleeting moments, angels danced alongside his death bed and pointed at him and laughed.
Suppose there is a god. And suppose that god and the devil and heaven and hell are all very personal. They are your dreams and nightmares and representative of what you did while on this earth. So they are different for everyone.
When Mr. Pierce gets up to those heavenly gates, there's a god waiting for him. This god is wearing a t-shirt that says "STAMP OUT RACISM" and a big grin. This god says "Welcome, Mr. Pierce, I've been waiting for this moment," and then pushes a button that sends him down to his own private hell, where Pierce is surrounded by the very people he wanted to exterminate - blacks and Jews. And he spends his eternity watching these people piss on copies of The Turner Diaries.
( ed. note: it was pointed out to me after I posted this that someone might interpret this as meaning hell is filled with jewish and black people and I in no way meant to imply that. I was just trying to establish what hell would be like for Pierce, if hell was a personal journey)
This would work well for a lot of people.
Jerry Falwell would be greeted at the gates by a god who laughs in his face and tells him he had it all wrong.
Pastor Fred Phelps would be greeted by a bevy of gay drag queens and they would kick his ass right down to Satan's lair, where he would spend forever walking across hot coals holding up a sign that says "GOD LOVES FAGS" while all the people whose funerals he picketed at stood by mocking him. One person's hell is another person's heaven.
I'm not saying that I wouldn't be greeted by some nightmare version of hell that I deserve. I hate the haters. That makes me a hater too, I suppose. I wish death upon people. I want to spit on graves of certain extremist, ignorant murderers. I sometimes want to answer violence with violence.
Is it ok to depsise the people who bring evil and injustice to this world? Or am I part of the problem? Do I bring evil and injustice as well by wanting to wipe certain people off the face of this bleak earth? Perhaps I am just adding to the black cloud of hate that hangs over us. Yet I cannot subscribe to the "love they neighbor" theory because frankly, some of my neighbors suck. Some of them frighten me.
I keep having this recurring dream where the world is being flooded as punishment for what we have done to it. As I furiously swim, trying to find a piece of land to rest on, an ark appears. Guiding the ark is Falwell and Pat Robertson. As they reach out their hands to bring me on board, I go underwater and try to drown myself.
This world is never being saved. We are doomed to repeat cycles of violence because we never learn from our mistakes. We are doomed because hate begets hate and we all despise someone else and it's a big circle jerk of hatred. We all think we are right, we all think our reasons are good, we all think that our side is going to win.
Guess what? We all lose. Every last one of us. In fact, we have already lost. Just take a look around you. What do you see? Racism, sexism, hate crimes, homophobia, ignorance, anti semitism, pollution, litter, corruption, lies, scandal, war.
No matter how much I try to be part of the solution, I will always be part of the problem, because I add to the anger and turmoil that is making this world quake. Even if I am hating the people who bring death and destruction and the eventual fall of the stock market upon us, I am still sending my signals of negativity into the air.
I would try to change, but I just can't muster up any hope.