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my record collection can beat up your record collection!

My record collection can beat up your record collection!

100 Albums you should remove from your record collection, according to a pompous assclown by the name of Wesley A. Kose..

I first saw this at Amish Tech Support and I figured rather than hijack Laurence's comments with my ten page essay I would just do my own take on it here. Imitation is flattery, Laurence. Just remember that.

Now, before we begin let me just say that I realize everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I mean, I sit here and make fun of Eric Roberts and maybe there are some of you that think he is a fine actor. But the difference between Mr. Kose and myself is that I know the difference between thinking that Eric Roberts is lame and thinking you are lame for liking him. I think Kose is one of those people who likes to think he is better than everyone else while he sits in his mother's basement jacking off to pictures of Latoya Jackson and watching Almost Famous 24 hours a day.

Anyhow, on with it. I'm not going to go through the whole list. Just the ones that made me want to smack him with a dead fish.

1. The Clash - Combat Rock
Sure, Rock the Casbah sort of sucked, but Know Your Rights and Overpowered by Funk, while not classic Clash, still got repeat play from me.

2. Nirvana - Nevermind
I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, but this is one of those albums that I will put on every once in a while and play from start to finish. There are about 10 cds in my entire collection that I can listen to in one complete sitting. Says Mr. Kose: This is the record you will embarrass your children with. Oh come on, Wesley. You know that somewhere in your collection is something way more embarassing. Is that a Creed cd I see under your bed?

3. The Police - Synchronicity
Looking back, the album was sort of bland and sucky. But it just would not be 1983 without this album, which was a constant soundtrack to that summer. I keep it just for the memories.

4. Nick Cave - Boatman's Call
Now, it's personal. Says Wesley: Pompous poetics for punks who miss their college lit classes...The music? As hot-aired as the master's musings.
I'm thinking that maybe Wesley just doesn't want to take the time to understand the lyrics. Simplicity may work best for him. I recommend Linkin Park lyrics for Mr. Kose.

5. Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
Mr. Kose: by the time the second song is over, you will be ill with memories of Doc Martens and bad dye jobs. I get it now. You want us to get rid of all our albums that dredge up your own bad memories. News flash, Kose: Not everyone used this album as a soundtrack to their wannabe goth days. You try therapy, and I'll try not to play this cd within 100 miles of you, ok?

I could go on, but I won't. I'll spare you. The bottom line is, after reading through all 100 snippets from Wesley, I can only come to one conclusion: His college years were spent trying to be hip and cool but he failed in spectacular fashion. He spent most of his years alone in his dorm devising ways in which to get even with all the people who were obviously having more fun than him. Most of the albums he hates, he hates because they fill him with envy and hatred for the fellow college students who had a much better time than him because they didn't spend every waking minute over analyzing their record collection.

You may as well pull those black tights and Doc Martens out of storage, Mr. Kose. Elitist Music Critic is the new goth. We're telling jokes about you behind your back.


Page loads up... "Joshua Tree"

Fuck that. Anybody who thinks Joshua Tree needs to be removed from a record collection is delusional.

Yeesh, what a little bitter-pants that guy is! How long d'you suppose it's been since he got laid? Ever?

No kidding. Oh gee, he's so cool because he puts down Beatles albums. What a loser.

what pushed my buttons:

1.nirvana. this is where i risk being sappy and sentimentalist. (which is frowned upon heavily round these parts.) i was 16 years old when Kurt...er, shot himself. at the time, Nirvana was THE band. we lived and breathed it. we listened to it when we sat in our rooms alone after having the shit beat out of us by our parents, after making it through ONE MORE DAY of torment, taunting, and bullying at school, after surviving the school day without being shot by our own classmates...anyone who dares criticize the music of Nirvana pokes a trite finger at the very real anguish white middle class kids actually go through in America. yes, there is strife, pain and horror in our inner cities, especially in black neighborhoods. there's also a lot of bullshit going on in surburban, white neighborhoods. girls are raped by their fathers regardless of race or neighborhood.

Kurt Cobain understood, and i think the pain was too much for him to carry.

The more people that bash him, the better.

the killer for me, as a hip hop head, was the review of The Roots Things Fall Apart.

He doesn't even understand that ?uestlove is the drummer/producer and Black Thought is "third rate MC"

if you don't even know the members of the band, man, you have no right reviewing.

And the ground keeps teasing a shake right now...i'm feeling an earthquake coming.

blinks at a lot of the albums on the list

Wow. He certainly has the hate on for U2. (Not that I liked Zooropa, but Joshua Tree is one of those rare albums where almost every song is playable and interesting as opposed to the one song that makes it to the radio.)

He reminds me of the two clerks from High Fidelity. :)

first off, i wanna say that i hate U2, so i can't fault him for any of those selections.

that being said, this guy is a total maroon. he's the scourge of society - a total trendmonger. it's that whole "if it's not popular now, then you should get rid of it!" mentality... yeah dude, whatever.

What an asspotato.

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