my record collection can beat up your record collection!
My record collection can beat up your record collection!
100 Albums you should remove from your record collection, according to a pompous assclown by the name of Wesley A. Kose..
I first saw this at Amish Tech Support and I figured rather than hijack Laurence's comments with my ten page essay I would just do my own take on it here. Imitation is flattery, Laurence. Just remember that.
Now, before we begin let me just say that I realize everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I mean, I sit here and make fun of Eric Roberts and maybe there are some of you that think he is a fine actor. But the difference between Mr. Kose and myself is that I know the difference between thinking that Eric Roberts is lame and thinking you are lame for liking him. I think Kose is one of those people who likes to think he is better than everyone else while he sits in his mother's basement jacking off to pictures of Latoya Jackson and watching Almost Famous 24 hours a day.
Anyhow, on with it. I'm not going to go through the whole list. Just the ones that made me want to smack him with a dead fish.
1. The Clash - Combat Rock
Sure, Rock the Casbah sort of sucked, but Know Your Rights and Overpowered by Funk, while not classic Clash, still got repeat play from me.
2. Nirvana - Nevermind
I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, but this is one of those albums that I will put on every once in a while and play from start to finish. There are about 10 cds in my entire collection that I can listen to in one complete sitting. Says Mr. Kose: This is the record you will embarrass your children with. Oh come on, Wesley. You know that somewhere in your collection is something way more embarassing. Is that a Creed cd I see under your bed?
3. The Police - Synchronicity
Looking back, the album was sort of bland and sucky. But it just would not be 1983 without this album, which was a constant soundtrack to that summer. I keep it just for the memories.
4. Nick Cave - Boatman's Call
Now, it's personal. Says Wesley: Pompous poetics for punks who miss their college lit classes...The music? As hot-aired as the master's musings.
I'm thinking that maybe Wesley just doesn't want to take the time to understand the lyrics. Simplicity may work best for him. I recommend Linkin Park lyrics for Mr. Kose.
5. Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
Mr. Kose: by the time the second song is over, you will be ill with memories of Doc Martens and bad dye jobs. I get it now. You want us to get rid of all our albums that dredge up your own bad memories. News flash, Kose: Not everyone used this album as a soundtrack to their wannabe goth days. You try therapy, and I'll try not to play this cd within 100 miles of you, ok?
I could go on, but I won't. I'll spare you. The bottom line is, after reading through all 100 snippets from Wesley, I can only come to one conclusion: His college years were spent trying to be hip and cool but he failed in spectacular fashion. He spent most of his years alone in his dorm devising ways in which to get even with all the people who were obviously having more fun than him. Most of the albums he hates, he hates because they fill him with envy and hatred for the fellow college students who had a much better time than him because they didn't spend every waking minute over analyzing their record collection.
You may as well pull those black tights and Doc Martens out of storage, Mr. Kose. Elitist Music Critic is the new goth. We're telling jokes about you behind your back.