Don't ever go to a focus group.
They show you tv shows starring Eric Roberts. They make you look at Gap commercials over and over. They ask you silly questions and make you behave like you are 12.
We previewed two shows. "C-16" which stars Mr. Roberts as a grizzly looking detective of some sorts. It sucked. Then there was "The First Gentleman" starring some familiar looking guy as the first female president's husband. He is also a former cop who has not lost his passion for crime solving and gets involved in a Chandry Levy-esque case. The writing was so bad and condescending it made Family Matters look like quality tv. They asked which show we preferred and I wrote "is death an option?"
There were two stand up comics we had to watch. One was mediocre at best. The other, I rated as assclown. One of the choices for how we felt about him was dumb.
Then we had to spend 30 minutes rating a commercial for hair color. My sister and her husband and Justin were no help, as they kept making silly comments and tasteless jokes and we laughed so hard and snickered so much I felt like I was back in school and the principal was going to come yell at us.
Where you were supposed to fill in the part about how the commercial made you feel, and what it said to you, I went into a rant about adrogynous waify models and the attainment of ultimate perfection but then I stopped and just wrote:
And I filled the rest of the survey with the word doom. Except for the part where I really pretended I was in high school and drew the AC/DC logo in the top corner and added a pentagram underneath it. For good measure I wrote Metallica Rules!
So basically, we will never be invited to one of these things again. Which is fine with me, because one should not be forced to look at Eric Roberts more than once in their life.
Oh, yea...just to make sure that this wasn't a subversive plot to weed out the dissenters of America, I wrote "Ashcroft is the Anti-Christ" on the front cover of the survey.
I think someone is at the door.