I'm in a hormonal rage today. It's going to be a race between me and my sister Lisa to see who takes a life first.
There are several people already on my shit list. All of them are strangers who have in some way irritated me beyond reason. I'm sure it's better to kill a stranger than a relative, though. If you kill a relative then no one brings you cigarettes and porn while you're rotting away in jail.
It's only 11am and I have spilled coffee all over my shirt, my hair is doing the humidity dance, I have cramps that would kill most men, I've already gone through a box of tampons, my other sister just accused me of blowing the system admin guy so I could get an internet connection, and yes, that really is COFFEE on my shirt.
Don't even think of looking at me wrong today. And should you see Lisa and I together at any point in the next three or four days, I suggest you run like mad because when the two of us are in a cycle-induced mood we make Saddam look like Mary Fucking Poppins.