« may the fourth be with you | Main | us, them, we »

lost in new york

Lost in new york

I let DJ go into the city to the Museum of Natural History with my cousin and her kids today. I'm one of those paranoid parents.

DJ, take this piece of paper and put it in your pocket.
What is it?
It has my cell phone number, and your aunt's phone number because that's where I'll be.
Why do I need this?
Because. Just in case.
Oh, mom...
What do you do if you get separated from everyone, DJ? If you get lost?
Mom, I'm nine, I know this stuff.
Humor me, DJ. What do you do if you get lost?
I go into the nearest bar and watch the Yankee game until someone comes looking for me.
Don't worry, I'll just drink Zima.
Thanks, I feel so much better now.

I'm off to my sister's to feast on dead animal carcasses and enjoy the stifling heat. I'll be drunk before 5, asleep on the front lawn by 7. I just hope they move me when they start the fireworks.

Enjoy your day. Play safe.


I think that 9-yr-old solution makes perfect sense! But isn't there a fight about cable carrying Yankees games? Is he sure the bar will be able to show the game?

He probably has a list of all the bars that carry the Yes Network. I know he has a list of all my neighbors that have DirectTV.

great stuff - nobody drinks Zima.


hope you got as drunk, and as happy/grateful as i did. it was a good holiday. it felt just right. (i say this with at least 8 beers in me, so take it with a grain of oh-she's-drunk, ok?)

may the forth be with you well into the fifth. hic

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.