A Small Victory

Declaration

Jhames wants us to declare our love. Now that I'm trying to write not-so-hokey wedding vows, or at least compose something light and airy yet full of hokiness that I can read at our wedding, this would be a perfect opportunity to declare my love for Justin, and why I love him so.

It's not just about the compatibility and our shared obessions with comic books and action figures and spending all of our money on DVDs. It's not just about the sex and our willingness to indulge each other's fantasies. It's not just about that lustful attraction that is still as strong as ever. I love him because of all those things, but not limited to those things.

I love him because, after more than three years, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me.

Because he knows how to say he's sorry.

Because he very rarely has anything to be sorry for.

Because he doesn't care that sometimes I am a complete slob when it comes to housekeeping.

Because he does most of the cleaning.

Because he loves to cook.

Because we giggle when we watch cartoons together.

Because he never makes fun of me when I watch Lifetime movies.

Because he makes fun of me when I listen to cheesy 80's new wave, but in a good-spirited kind of way.

Because he listens to Sade and doesn't care who knows.

Because he cried when Natalie said Happy Father's Day to him.

Because he spends hours playing baseball and soccer with DJ, even though he hates playing both those things.

Because he never secretly lets DJ win at video games.

Because he shares his beloved colored pencils with Natalie.

Because he taught me how to enjoy a foot massage.

Because when I have to run out the door five minutes after I get home from work and I don't get back in until 9pm, there is a hot dinner and fresh pot of coffee waiting for me.

Because when he crawls into bed an hour after me, he will wake me up just to tell me he loves me and ask me if I have enough pillows, enough blankets, enough love.

Because he knows that loving me is loving my flaws, too.

Because he never tries to hide his own flaws or make excuses for them.

Because he never makes me feel lazy when I want to spend Saturday afternoon on the couch, taking turns sleeping and eating nachos.

Because he stuck it out through some very harsh emotional times with me.

Because his smile lights up a room and his laugh is contagious.

Because he loves me with a love that is so fierce and so strong it makes me cry when I think about it.

Because he is really good in bed. And on the floor. And in the car.

Because he recognizes my moods instantly and knows how to ply me with oatmeal raisin cookies or a kiss on the back of my neck.

Because he always recognizes my need for space and no longer pouts when I ask for it.

Most of all because he has made me love who I am.

Because. A million becauses. A million reasons why I want to spend the rest of my life with a man who is 18 years younger than me but so much more mature than me in many respects. A million reasons why he is my soulmate and my perfect partner. Because I will never in a hundred million years ever find anyone who lets me just be me like Justin does. Because we both realize that perfection is not flawless, that perfect is a skinned knee, that flaws and bad habits and ugly birthmarks make us human and make us that much more loveable.

That is love.