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Testiing a theory

Testing a theory

Women fart.

Women also do other things in the bathroom besides pee. Poo, I mean.

I have even seen some women pick their noses or pee standing up. I have seen women pick wedgies and scratch their crotches. And I know at least ten women whose could belch some men under the table. I have seen a woman - a very sexy, beautiful woman - belch out a love poem to her fiance.

Women do all these things.

But most of all, women fart.


...and they do it outside the bathroom as well. A beautiful thing sometimes, farting...

Farting is ok and all, but I nearly want to hurt people who do it in public, closed-in spaces, like subways and elevators. My sense of smell is strong, stronger than all other of my senses and I gag.

So fart away, but know when to let 'em rip. :)

Not really hurt them. I have to clear that up. Words are strong.

Loud farts make me giggle.

oops.... excuse me.

Yes they do. I ate a whole can of maple-baked beans yesterday, and let me tell you, a woman can levitate the covers right off the bed.

Women totally fart, yessirree, but most would bitchslap you for doing it in an elevator/cab/car.

I know I would.

And then as punishment I would demonstrate the fine art of SBD, in your living room. ;)

Let's not forget menstruation on the list of "icky things that we do." Of course, almost every woman menstruates so it's one of those things that should go without saying. But its my favourite one to bitch about.

AND HOW......

I think farts are funny.

an "icky" comment about the "icky":

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.--- observed in Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL


Cats fart, dogs fart...not sure about birds, but pretty certain the women's do it.

Women aren't capable of flatulence. They only smell like pretty shiny happy pink things that leave me daydreaming of their sofy billowy long hair with daisies and puppies and moonbeams and freshly baked cookies and lemony fresh things and cartoon mice and new car smell and stuff.

At least, that's what my girlfriend would like me to believe.

I should add that the one of those apocryphal facts that I read somewhere said that the average adult human farts 32 times a day.

holy crap...
i fart. but NOT 32 times a day. good god!!
i wouldn't be able to stand myself LOL!!

michele, you are my hero.

Sound w/o smell = good.
smell w/o sound != good.

i once, swear to god, heard margaret thatcher fart. okay, i lied. but i smelled something funny when she walked by.

My wife, as she's gotten older, just has very little muscle control. Her farts seem to come at the most inopportune times.

Most of the time, it's so funny, I can bearly keep from falling over. Other times, my face gets so flush, I think I'm going to die of embarrassment.

And my sense of smell is acute. She gets the biggest laugh when she lets a very faint SBD, and then catches me sniffing at the air, trying to figure out where that pungent odour came from.

These are the things that keep us old married couples young... fart games.

even little girls fart. i know one who especially likes to fart when she's sitting on my lap, best of all while wearing her fairy wings.

i least like it when you get on the elevator, and a woman gets on, farts, gets off at the next floor, leaving you inside with the smell. then, at the floor after that, more people get on and look at you like, "man, you farted! in the elevator!"

my final fart story: long ago, at the beginning of my relationship with my now-wife, we went skiing. and spent the night in some lodge. we were students, and ate what we brought, which was mostly cheese. pounds and pounds of cheese. then we went to bed, in great distress because we had never farted in front of each other before.

we still, more than 20 years later, discuss who was the first to fart, but once the ice was broken there was no holding us back. we farted and farted all night long. we farted like clydesdales.

The consort and I are both terrible farters, it is a special bond between us.

My ex-boyfriend used to say my superheor alter-egos would be called "Gas Girl" and "Hormone Babe." So, um, yeah, I have been known to fart.

I sometimes wonder why beautiful young women pretend they do not fart. They fart and they are the ones that smell the worst. They try so hard to hold it in when they are in public, killing themselves over gas. Just let it out, even if it is in the living room of your boyfriend's house. Yes, you are beautiful, but don't suffer for pass gas.

Speaking of beautiful women farting, I can never get enough of sniffing beautiful women's farts

Speaking of beautiful women farting, I can never get enough of sniffing beautiful women's farts

Speaking of beautiful women farting, I can never get enough of sniffing beautiful women's farts

Speaking of beautiful women farting, I can never get enough of sniffing beautiful women's farts

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