credit cards accepted
Credit cards accepted
For sale or rent: 2 children.
One 12 year old female. Will vacuum and dust on demand, but unfortunately will not clean her room. Tends to be sarcastic, defiant and moody. Good for laughing at dumb jokes with, but will mostly just laugh at you. Needs to be fed constantly.
Likes to sleep and whine.
One 9 year old male. Does not do housework of any kind. Will entertain you by singing and dancing but only in a crowded restaurant, and only something with inappropriate words in it. Tends to be oppositional. Comes complete with addiction to video games and ESPN. Needs to be fed only once a day, and will only eat chicken nuggets, grilled cheese or Apple Jacks and will only drink Snapple iced tea.
Both are completely housetrained, except for the odd instances where one might pee in a Millenium Falcon. Female requires a broadband connection and AIM. Male requires a Playstation2 and the Yes Network.
Experience with children not necessary. A prescription for Prozac or a stocked liquor cabinet would probably come in handy.
Leave message below if interested. Best offer.
(I will also considering paying someone to take them if I don't get an offer soon).