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sex, vacuum cleaners and crack

sex, vacuum cleaners and crack

My creativity and desire to think of something to write about today are non-existent. I was just going to take the day off from this site today, but who am I to keep you from being entertained at my expense? Mig of Feral Living provides us with this edition of Sleep-Deprived Instant Messenger Converstations

feralmig: who's piazza?
feralmig: he invented the popular italian dish?
feralmig: this is his royalty check?
Propagandhist: baseball player, fool.
Propagandhist: i forget you dont know shit about american stuff anymore
feralmig: baseball schmaseball.
feralmig: i didn't know shit even when i lived there.
Propagandhist: it's just the point
Propagandhist: that someone gets that check EVERY WEEK
feralmig: yeah.
feralmig: i'd buy shoes, first off.
feralmig: then musical instruments.
feralmig: then a bunch of whores.
feralmig: to play the musical instruments
feralmig: while i polished the shoes.
feralmig: oh, yes.
feralmig: main thing, get on gord's case today.
Propagandhist: yah
feralmig: a big helping
feralmig: thing is, designers are a dime a dozen
feralmig: but competent coders can make you wait
Propagandhist: thats the thing
feralmig: sniffing aorund the threshhold of their door
Propagandhist: a million people would desing RH for us
feralmig: "What are they doing in there? Smoking pot?"
Propagandhist: but coders are .............whoa
Propagandhist: i just got totally dizzy
Propagandhist: room shifted
feralmig: no freaky stuff, please.
feralmig: you okay?
Propagandhist: yea just totally dizzy. light headed even
Propagandhist: i think i dreamed to much last night
Propagandhist: and i went to sleep without the cough medicine!
Propagandhist: im not addicted after all
feralmig: oh, i was thinking about your thing about getting speedy from antihistamines -
feralmig: some contain caffeine.
feralmig: others probably contain crack, good for repeat business.
Propagandhist: yea and im not really supposed to mix anything with the paxil
Propagandhist: except for crack
Propagandhist: doc said "crack good"
feralmig: crack goes witih just about everything.
feralmig: i prefer it around the rim of my margueritas.
feralmig: Marguerita con crack.
feralmig: mmm.
Propagandhist: now that's a good lunch
feralmig: plus you're really productive when you get back to work.
feralmig: depending on the task.
Propagandhist: yea but then theres that crash
feralmig: presentations go twice as fast.
Propagandhist: at like 4:00
Propagandhist: and your boss finds you naked under the desk
feralmig: with the mail boy.
feralmig: and the man from the sandwich stand.
feralmig: and a porcupine.
Propagandhist: and a permanent marker
feralmig: and the yellow pages.
feralmig: and a translucent automobile vacuum.
Propagandhist: and that sucking sound
feralmig: tips them off every time.
Propagandhist: which is what made the boss find you in the first place
feralmig: "Not to be used as a sex toy. Beware of rotor blades."
Propagandhist: who reads warning labels, though?
feralmig: I actually read an article in amedical journal.
Propagandhist: I'm sorry the mail guy only has one testicle now, but....
feralmig: about a series of penis injuries in england
feralmig: from that practice.
Propagandhist: vacuuming the penis?
feralmig: apparently so.
Propagandhist: standard practice for adolescents
feralmig: "Here, mom, let me do the housework again."
feralmig: "Why thank you, son."
feralmig: I wouldn't want to change the bag, man.
Propagandhist: gives dust bunnies a new meaning
Propagandhist: dust bunnies a la shredded penis
feralmig: "My name is Pamela, i'll be your dust bunny this evening"
Propagandhist: She's got "dirty girl" written all over her
feralmig: Knows a lot of dirty jokes too.
Propagandhist: I thought her name was Dusty.
feralmig: If RH ever makes us rich, we'll have to open a chain of Dust Clubs.
Propagandhist: On your tenth visit, get free vacuum service
feralmig: I'm envisioning a Glory Hole room.
feralmig: Sorry, a Suction Room.
Propagandhist: Electrolux or Hoover, Sir?
Propagandhist: That will be 5 dollars extra for the clean air filter usage.
feralmig: Eh, depends on the blade distance from the orifice.
feralmig: With or without variable wattage switch, sir?
Propagandhist: Please take the bag with you when you exit the room.
feralmig: I'm very sorry, sir, someone appears to have abruptly reversed the air flow.
feralmig: It happens sometimes.
feralmig: Send us your dry cleaner bill.
feralmig: We had an electrolux, but it never occurred to me to, like, you know.
feralmig: I preferred Mormons.
Propagandhist: You practiced oral sex with mormons?
feralmig: Didn't just practice it.
feralmig: Perfected it, man.
feralmig: At the Portland zoo, even.
Propagandhist: Mig, mormons and the portland zoo
Propagandhist: You blew a mormon by the lion's cage?
feralmig: Well, a female mormon, yeah.
feralmig: Reminds me of Clue.
feralmig: Mig,
feralmig: with a Mormon
Propagandhist: in the lions cage
Propagandhist: Sex Clue
Propagandhist: New game
Propagandhist: Michele
Propagandhist: in the kitchen
Propagandhist: with a strap on
feralmig: great party game

And then it digressed into unprintable scenarios.

If you actually read that whole conversation I'll give you a dollar next time I see you. Just for suffering through it.

Comments

I read the whole thing. I almost miss you guys enough to wish Matt would start waking me up at 4am again.

Miguel never tells you he has to go because his hair is on fire?

I'm starting to take this personally.

Sometimes he says he has to go because his ass is on fire. Does that count?

Right, like Marvin's legs really fell off today, Melly.

pay up.
I'm still groggy from sleep and lack of food or smoke.

so I read it all.
so there.

I want my dollar. :)

I want my one dollar US, which should buy me a house with a swimming pool up here in Canada.

damn, Bill beat me to it - i want my dollar US too. i'll use mine for a new car.

*Warning: The Above Instant Messenger Conversation was made because of a lack of sleep.

Don't let this happen to you.

I'd take a dollar, but my hand is still trembling from the full body laughing I just did.

Well if you clone me 119 times and trade me in then that makes about a dollar. Dime a dozen, really, shame on you two.

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