sex, vacuum cleaners and crack
sex, vacuum cleaners and crack
My creativity and desire to think of something to write about today are non-existent. I was just going to take the day off from this site today, but who am I to keep you from being entertained at my expense? Mig of Feral Living provides us with this edition of Sleep-Deprived Instant Messenger Converstations
feralmig: who's piazza?
feralmig: he invented the popular italian dish?
feralmig: this is his royalty check?
Propagandhist: baseball player, fool.
Propagandhist: i forget you dont know shit about american stuff anymore
feralmig: baseball schmaseball.
feralmig: i didn't know shit even when i lived there.
Propagandhist: it's just the point
Propagandhist: that someone gets that check EVERY WEEK
feralmig: i'd buy shoes, first off.
feralmig: then musical instruments.
feralmig: then a bunch of whores.
feralmig: to play the musical instruments
feralmig: while i polished the shoes.
feralmig: oh, yes.
feralmig: main thing, get on gord's case today.
feralmig: a big helping
feralmig: thing is, designers are a dime a dozen
feralmig: but competent coders can make you wait
Propagandhist: thats the thing
feralmig: sniffing aorund the threshhold of their door
Propagandhist: a million people would desing RH for us
feralmig: "What are they doing in there? Smoking pot?"
Propagandhist: but coders are .............whoa
Propagandhist: i just got totally dizzy
Propagandhist: room shifted
feralmig: no freaky stuff, please.
feralmig: you okay?
Propagandhist: yea just totally dizzy. light headed even
Propagandhist: i think i dreamed to much last night
Propagandhist: and i went to sleep without the cough medicine!
Propagandhist: im not addicted after all
feralmig: oh, i was thinking about your thing about getting speedy from antihistamines -
feralmig: some contain caffeine.
feralmig: others probably contain crack, good for repeat business.
Propagandhist: yea and im not really supposed to mix anything with the paxil
Propagandhist: except for crack
Propagandhist: doc said "crack good"
feralmig: crack goes witih just about everything.
feralmig: i prefer it around the rim of my margueritas.
feralmig: Marguerita con crack.
Propagandhist: now that's a good lunch
feralmig: plus you're really productive when you get back to work.
feralmig: depending on the task.
Propagandhist: yea but then theres that crash
feralmig: presentations go twice as fast.
Propagandhist: at like 4:00
Propagandhist: and your boss finds you naked under the desk
feralmig: with the mail boy.
feralmig: and the man from the sandwich stand.
feralmig: and a porcupine.
Propagandhist: and a permanent marker
feralmig: and the yellow pages.
feralmig: and a translucent automobile vacuum.
Propagandhist: and that sucking sound
feralmig: tips them off every time.
Propagandhist: which is what made the boss find you in the first place
feralmig: "Not to be used as a sex toy. Beware of rotor blades."
Propagandhist: who reads warning labels, though?
feralmig: I actually read an article in amedical journal.
Propagandhist: I'm sorry the mail guy only has one testicle now, but....
feralmig: about a series of penis injuries in england
feralmig: from that practice.
Propagandhist: vacuuming the penis?
feralmig: apparently so.
Propagandhist: standard practice for adolescents
feralmig: "Here, mom, let me do the housework again."
feralmig: "Why thank you, son."
feralmig: I wouldn't want to change the bag, man.
Propagandhist: gives dust bunnies a new meaning
Propagandhist: dust bunnies a la shredded penis
feralmig: "My name is Pamela, i'll be your dust bunny this evening"
Propagandhist: She's got "dirty girl" written all over her
feralmig: Knows a lot of dirty jokes too.
Propagandhist: I thought her name was Dusty.
feralmig: If RH ever makes us rich, we'll have to open a chain of Dust Clubs.
Propagandhist: On your tenth visit, get free vacuum service
feralmig: I'm envisioning a Glory Hole room.
feralmig: Sorry, a Suction Room.
Propagandhist: Electrolux or Hoover, Sir?
Propagandhist: That will be 5 dollars extra for the clean air filter usage.
feralmig: Eh, depends on the blade distance from the orifice.
feralmig: With or without variable wattage switch, sir?
Propagandhist: Please take the bag with you when you exit the room.
feralmig: I'm very sorry, sir, someone appears to have abruptly reversed the air flow.
feralmig: It happens sometimes.
feralmig: Send us your dry cleaner bill.
feralmig: We had an electrolux, but it never occurred to me to, like, you know.
feralmig: I preferred Mormons.
Propagandhist: You practiced oral sex with mormons?
feralmig: Didn't just practice it.
feralmig: Perfected it, man.
feralmig: At the Portland zoo, even.
Propagandhist: Mig, mormons and the portland zoo
Propagandhist: You blew a mormon by the lion's cage?
feralmig: Well, a female mormon, yeah.
feralmig: Reminds me of Clue.
feralmig: with a Mormon
Propagandhist: in the lions cage
Propagandhist: Sex Clue
Propagandhist: New game
Propagandhist: in the kitchen
Propagandhist: with a strap on
feralmig: great party game
And then it digressed into unprintable scenarios.
If you actually read that whole conversation I'll give you a dollar next time I see you. Just for suffering through it.