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this is the sound of time being sucked down a vortex of anxiety

this is the sound of time being sucked down a vortex of anxiety

Some days you wake up ready to take on the world.

This is not one of them.

We have suddenly shifted from spring mode to summer mode and the air has taken on a different texture. I went to bed and it was May and everything was going smoothly and I woke up and yes, it's still May, but it's more like June, more like summer and everything moves fast from now on.

Plans. We must make plans. Baseball camp and basketball camp and several different trips and it must be coordinated and arranged with the summer babysitter and the work schedule and the bosses. And there is a wedding to plan and don't forget the spring concerts, both on the same day, recorder and drums playing over and over in my head, beating out a rythmn that says June 6, June 6, June 6, so I don't forget even though the dry erase board has a big 6/6 in bold, blue letters staring back at me.

Father's Day and several birthdays and June means my sister's wedding is only a year away and my own wedding is only a few months away. School ends, dread the start of 7th grade (is she really going to be a 7th grader?), and suddenly it's July and the big holiday and a the small vacation and one step closer to my 40th birthday and before you know it July has come and gone, leaving in its wake a humid, heavy heat that pervades every ounce of your skin until you start making plans to move to Saskatchewan.

Then August is here (wan't it just June?) and you start back to school shopping, stocking up on clean white socks and clean white paper and pens and pencils and this year make up and appropriate clothing that doesn't show a belly button, doesn't have any misleading sayings printed on the front, and DJ's shorts must be below his knees, his pants can't be jeans and you wonder how your kids got so damn picky and why can't everyone just wear sweat pants and t-shirts every day? And the school supplies start making piles in your kitchen, red folder for math, green folder for science, number 2 pencils for the endless standardized tests that is the world of the 4th grader, and its hot and sweltering, the air conditioner runs all day and then it's here.

Your 40th birthday and you just knew they were planning a surprise party for you, knew it all along and at first you are pissed but the a few shots of tequila later, and everyone is toasting to the end of summer even though it's only the 25th of August, but you feel it, too, summer is winding away and you could swear that school just let out, but no, everyone is getting ready to put the white shoes and white clothes away and Halloween decorations are already popping up in store windows. You take another shot of tequila and suck down the lime and skip right past Labor Day and Halloween and Thanksgiving and start thinking about perfect Christmas gifts.


That was the sound of another year passing by.

Does anyone know how to slow this thing down?


Yo, when you show up in Saskatchewan, I'll be buyin' you the tequila...