I'm a quitter. I've always been, probably will always be.
I smoked a few cigarettes over the weekend after not smoking for three months. So in essence, I have quit quitting smoking. And now I am quitting not quitting again.
It's written all over my history. Quitter. I'm sure it's on my permanent record that they are always talking about, the one that follows you through your whole life. Big bold letters stamped across the folder containing my life's deeds. QUITTER.
I started ballet in kindergarten. It lasted all of 5 days (excuse: dancing gave me a stomach ache). Hell, if I could have quit kindergarten I would have. Later on I quit chorus (excuse: I don't like the music teacher, she's mean to me). Then I quit girl scouts (ok, I intentionally got kicked out). I joined clubs and stopped going after two or three meetings. I joined softball but never made it as far as going to a game. In high school it was the same thing. Join club, never go to a meeting. Join activity, quit activity. Date guy, quit dating guy week later.
I have quit more jobs than most people have had in a lifetime. Some, like the one in the library, lasted years. Others, like the job selling the Daily News lasted 15 minutes.
I got engaged when I was 20 and broke up with him (rightfully so) three months before the wedding. Then I quit my job. I got married later on and quit that too after 7 years.
I have the beginning chapters of at least 100 books tucked away in my closet. I have manuscripts that are 5 pages from being finished. I have poems that trail off in the middle and screenplays with no endings.
I have started collections only to have my interest in what I was collecting die out before the set became complete. I have made schedules and lists and demands on myself and then forgot about them days later. I start an antibiotic and quit taking it two days in.
I left college with 12 credits to go for my degree in English (due to life circumstances) but never went back. 12 credits away from a degree and I just couldn't finish it off.
I get interested in a weekly tv show and then stop watching it 3 weeks into the season. I obsess over things and then discard them like worthless garbage. I read a story in the news that interests me, and I am suddenly at the library, taking out 100 books on the subject and researching magazine articles. And ten days later, the urge is gone. I've quit. Again.
I never did finish building my Sims house or get to the end of Metal Gear Solid 2. And I never got that last Preacher collected.
This weblog is the longest I have ever stuck with something. A little over a year. Don't blink or I might be gone soon.
I don't know what this all says about me except I'm a quitter. And maybe I should quit quitting.