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bigger and better

bigger and better

I have gained weight. There, I said it. I was told I would probably gain weight while on Paxil, but that's not it. It started before then. It's a combination of a lot of things; complacency, bad eating habits, not enough time in the day to exercise properly and my changing metabolism.

I carry my weight well. I certainly don't look like I did say, three years ago when people kept asking me if I was sick, or even two years ago when I think I looked my best. And I've finally learned to be ok with that.

It's obvious how much my metabolism has changed in the past year. I used to be able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted. I used to be able to get away without exercising too frequently. I used to wear tight clothing and look good in it.

I still had this mentality, until last week, that I could squeeze into my old clothes. Or that I could shop in the same aisles as I used to, buying the same sizes and swearing that this was just a phase and I would fit into these clothes in just a week or two. Shopping was incredibly frustrating. I would try on pants that just recently would have looked great on me, and they only made me feel fat and uncomfortable. I left a store more than once in tears.

I refused to acknowledge that my body has changed. I started exercising every single night. I ate healthy food. I drank tons of water. I starved myself. But still, the weight stayed on. And still, I packed myself into uncomfortable clothes, and shopped for the same old sizes and swore that the weight was coming off.

Well, it wasn't. And it probably isn't.

So last week I went shopping out of necessity. I didn't look at the same old sizes. I moved up to my new size and looked at those numbers only, and when I went into the dressing room to try them on, a transformation happened. I may have gone up a size...or two..or three...but I accepted it. I tried on clothes that actually fit me and felt comfortable instead of living in denial and trying on clothing that depressed me when I couldn't get the pants above my thighs. These clothes not only fit me, but felt good to wear and looked nice. I didn't look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag. I looked nice.

Yea, its not a great revelation to realize that you should wear clothes that fit you. But it is a momentous decision to accept that you are no longer a 7 or an 8 or even a 10 and to accept that you probably never will be again. I will still eat healthy and exercise, but I know that this weight is most likely here to stay. I'm ok with that. I am not my dress size. I am not my pants size. If someone wants to judge me by my body fat content, well fuck them.

Welcome to the new me. A few sizes bigger, but still looking good, feeling good and still the same person I was when I wore a size 7. Maybe even happier.


I have serious issues with that myself. I used to eat everything and anything I wanted without gaining weight. My aunt warned me that my metabolism would slow down as I neared 30. She's right. I'm doing my best to stay in shape though.

Great entry. Glad you have found a sense of peace and happiness within yourself about your weight. It is the only way to live-fat, thin, or somewhere in between.

Out of all of my girlfriends, I am the skinniest. I am, just skin and bones. I was a size 4 before I got pregnant. When I was pregnant, I felt very sexy. I liked my body. I felt like I had some flesh to me. Well since then I've shrunk down, only the strange thing is I do not fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I can't get a size 7 or even a size 9 over my thighs. So I am wearing 11, and thinking how all of these numbers mean absolutely nothing. If gaining thirty lbs meant that I wore a size 42, fuck it, I'd look hot with another 30 lbs and a size 42 tag motherfucker!


Carrying your weight well simply means walking with confidence and good posture. I weigh nearly 275 lbs. - down from over 300 - yet see myself as thin in the mirror. I only look fat when I see a photograph of myself next to someone else.

I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'm healthy - my lifestyle has resulted in adult-onset diabetes. But, other than that, I still think I look good and feel good.

Bottom line: weight should not define who you are.

i haven't fit into a size eight since i was about twelve years old

I was a size 2 up to year 99 after I had my sixth child who is now 2.Due to depression and medications, my dress size went to size 10. I have a Z figure that is hard to fit in other words my waist is smaller than my lower parts. I have managed to go down to size 4, but still have to pull my belt tight in order to fit my waist measurement. Size two waist will fit perfect but will not go beyond my waist. How do I find a perfect fit? please help.

Thank you very much for your time hope to hear from you.

Catherine Cronin From Sierra Leone, West Africa now resides Connecticut.