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the futility of being nice

the futility of being nice

You know what? This isn't working. What was I thinking?

I brought bagels into work today. Two people complained that I only had sesame and plain. One person complained that I had whipped cream cheese instead of the other kind.

I offered coffee to anyone who came in the office, including my nemesis, Mr. Coffee Man. He complained that I didn't have whole milk. Someone else made a face because it wasn't decaf.

I told my father I loved him and he asked my how much money I needed.

I told my sister how thankful I was that we have such a close relationship and she asked me if I was PMS or dying.

I told the kids I would make whatever they wanted for dinner tonight and they wanted to know if Justin could cook instead of me.

I offered to help out the new person at work until they hire a new secretary for him. He spent the day trying to look down my shirt.

So instead of feeling all happy and smiley and good about the world and myself, I feel cranky and cynical. My usual self, but more bitter.

I'm going to crawl back inside my misanthropic little world now.

Yea, bite me.

Posted by on April 8, 2002 03:05 PM |

Comments

Damn! What the hell is wrong with people?@!

Posted by: Jason | April 8, 2002 03:16 PM

Yeesh. People and their bagel issues.

(I'm always grateful for any type of free food.)

Posted by: Pfish | April 8, 2002 03:21 PM

Don't flinch Michele. Consider that being nice is akin to leadership. Leaders take charge and rule in a situation, in spite of being heavily criticised, in spite of little or no appreciation. And yet, leaders are essential, often otherwise smart people panick like lemmings in their absence.

I would say increase N because it is part of who you are, or how you believe in existing. The pay off has to be internal, taken out over the long run. Satisfaction comes from fulfilling one's faith. Increasing N is a matter faith.

It's not about how the bull treats you, it's about how you choose to exist as a person - whether you're a nice vegetarian or a meat eating, cunt-evoking, anonymous insult hurler, the bull is gonna charge.

It's nice to be nice. (obscure references can be found in comments to Michele's previous post).

Posted by: chris | April 8, 2002 03:58 PM

i called my ex to apologize for being a bitch the last time i spoke to him. that went over like the hindenburg too. sigh

Posted by: redsugar | April 8, 2002 04:59 PM

a toast to cynicism. cheers

Posted by: aaron | April 8, 2002 05:21 PM

It's a skill - learning not to be nice. Be too nice, and you just end up getting kicked in the teeth. I normally run a mile from those kinds of books - but I have to confess finding 'The Nice Factor Book' (subtitle: Are you TOO NICE for your own good?) by Robin Chandler and Jo-Ellen Grzyb rather refreshing . . .

Posted by: Vaughan | April 8, 2002 05:26 PM

yes, but the post made me smile. does that count as doing something nice?

Posted by: sarah | April 8, 2002 06:28 PM

Don't give up just yet, Michele! Visionaries are always misunderstood at first! (Besides, any fuckhole who complains about a free bagel is entirely too stupid to acknowledge. Let it roll off your back.)

Posted by: amyc | April 8, 2002 06:52 PM

::exhale::

Thank God.

Posted by: nancy | April 8, 2002 07:06 PM

Not to make excuses for the guy who kept on trying to look down your shirt, but I've noticed that my eyes are auto-aiming. If there isn't something that needs my immediate attention they just seem to focus on the most interesting thing in the room. Unlike him, the most interesting thing in my line of sight is generally either my panda colletion or the wall.

Posted by: Kristian | April 8, 2002 07:26 PM

at least you actually did what you said you would do. that might be even more impressive than the being nice part. meaning that most people don't do what they say they will. like me.

i decided to ignore my grandfather (yes, i realize i'm going to hell) and make blog buttons for jadedju instead. i haven't heard from her yet but i guarantee the payoff will be better than talking to mr. evil.

and try not to take the bagel/coffee thing too hard. i have a theory that most people's souls evaporate once they walk through the office door... something about that "business" mentality.

Posted by: portia | April 8, 2002 09:02 PM

Wow, and I thought I was having a tough week. Bless you and do not lose hope.

Posted by: cosmo | April 8, 2002 11:56 PM

well thank the good lord of nasty bitches for that...i was refraining from comment, waiting for you to work it out - I wasn't gonna criticise...no way sister.
But I am here for you if you need someone to wallow with about the state of the world - fucking assho's

Posted by: g | April 8, 2002 11:58 PM

You did good, people snapped. All you really did was make them feel guilty. They've now got this pressure on them to do good by you so rather take it as an opportunity, you get the worst of it. Their reactions are not your problem, you don't need a reward because you know like your readers, you did good. Karma points for you.

Posted by: Richard | April 9, 2002 12:24 AM

Hey...at least you tried (whatever your name is, I haven't read long enough to know). That should count for something.

Bye.

Posted by: John | April 9, 2002 12:29 AM

ok, everyone that didn't appreciate Michele's selfless, unconditional gestures today:
\nIm
that's supposed to be the international sign for "they can all sit 'n spin"

Posted by: Jessica | April 9, 2002 01:09 AM

After reading this, I drove home politely, but then ignored my in-laws (which was the most polite thing I could do, as they were being irritating, but which they found rude enough to call back about later and complain to my wife, with whom I then got into a medium-sized fight). I believe the goal is to be kind without being a doormat. Kind with backbone. I have met people who seem to attain this state, so I believe it's possible.

Posted by: Miguel | April 9, 2002 02:40 AM

I figure, some years are better than others. If this is an off year for niceness, there will be another.

Posted by: Laura | April 9, 2002 08:08 AM

No good deed goes unpunished.

Posted by: Muad'Dib | April 9, 2002 03:48 PM

wow... I'm in college, so I think any giver of free food should be downright WORSHIPPED, certainly not insulted.

Posted by: dagny | April 11, 2002 12:59 AM

People suck.
Though I can't blame the bloke too much for trying to peel at your boobies. I probably would as well.

Posted by: Charles | April 12, 2002 12:04 AM

um, you know..peeK

Posted by: Charles | April 12, 2002 12:05 AM

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.

bairontechnologiesforall
bairontechnologiesforall
http://www.bairontechnologiesforall.biz

Posted by: Bairon Bancks | October 16, 2004 06:59 PM