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moral dilemma

moral dilemma

So, if a person is standing in front of you talking to you about something really important and serious, and he has a wet booger hanging off of his nose by a slimy string, and the booger is dancing in his mustache as he talks, are you morally obligated to tell him about the booger and if so, what is the proper way to say it?


First you have to suspend self conscious thought, like pulling your hand away from flame. Simply interrupt, "Dude, you have some (mumble mumble)...." while gesturing with your fingers at your own nose until he gets the point. It really helps if you have a tissue to offer.

It's awkward but he'll appreciate it. Last time I tried this I told a coworker he had space aliens coming out of his nose. He sort of got it, but didn't get it enough. They were still there. It took three tries. We were standing in line for lunch. It was yucky. But it's just one of those things.

Don't blow snot all over your own upper lip, and then clean it up, as if to show by way of example. That just make a bad situation worse.

You are required by law to point, laugh as loudly as possible and scream, "You disgusting piece of crap! Find a goddamned Kleenex. I hate you! So does God! So does your snot-filled moustache! Oh and, by the way sir, you have something in your nose Here’s a hankie.”

just reach and grab that thing

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think you have something stuck in your mustache."

I'm sure I don't need to advise you against reaching out and grabbing it. Eew.

Use a fly swatter. It's multifunctional and it's works wonders.

"dude, like, what the hell is that shit on your moustache?"

if he is oblivious to the fact that you're staring at his moustache in horrified fascination, and he has so little facial sensation that he can't feel snot hanging out of his nose (c'mon, you can feel that, of course you can) you are not only have no obligation to tell him, you don't have to listen to him either.

think about baseball stats or hum your mantra or something, as you back away slowly. he has that coming, for being so icky.

try to work a similar booger out of your nose onto your own face. he will laugh, it will lighten the mood, point out your booger, and then you can point out his.

Yell "Boogie!" at the top of your lungs. It's always time to get down and funky.

Wich reminds me of a joke my daughter told me:

Q:How do you make a tissue dance?

A:Put a little boogie in it!

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