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Wait...just this dream...and then I'm done, ok?

Wait...just this dream...and then I'm done, ok?

They had invented this tube. They called it the miracle tube even though it didn't perform miracles, but it told you if you would need one. It was a long, white upright tube, big enough for a large human being. You stepped into the tube, it whirred and clicked and spinned, and then you came out. It would then print out a chart detailing every single that was wrong with your or could possibly go wrong with you.

I go in the tube, come out all spun around, and wait for the doctor to read my chart to me. He stands there pensively in his white coat, clicking his number two pencil on the clipboard that holds my fate.

"You have an 80% chance of developing breast cancer." He doesn't look at me, just keeps reading.

"You have a 30% chance of having a heart attack." Long pause.

"You have 90% of getting an ulcer" Longer pause.

"And..." He stops to let out a low whistle here and I suck in my breath in anticipation.

"And 80% of your family uses a Microsoft OS."


Stress is definately a risk factor for all the ailments mentioned. Microsoft OS is the only certainty. Of all the OS's I use MS-OS causes the Most Stress. So Freud might say you're envious of Bill Gates's big white tube, but it's good to have more than one choice of OS.


hey, at least he didn't say that you had AIDS!

Microsfot OS is fatal in 100% of all recorded cases. Victims are found with glazed over bright blue eyes with little blocks of white text etched in perfectly. Its known as the Blue Sheen of Death.

No you did not dream that. HAhahahahaha.

That's weird, I had a similar dream, only I had a 30% chance of developing ovarian cancer and I was accused of still running DOS.