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tidbits 3.05

tidbits 3.05

I don't care what your reasons are, but naming your baby Homer is never a good idea. Let's look at this kid's future for a second: His name is Homer. Homer Laffoon. His mother is Ann Heche. His mother went on national tv claiming that she is from another planet. His name is Homer Laffoon. Welcome to the world of dodge ball target, kid.

Amy Fisher is out. Paula Jones is in. I think they are missing out on the real money makers here. Get people with real feuds in the ring. Like Suge Knight and Snoop Dogg. For that, I would watch prime time Fox.

Sue me, but I really want to see this. Even though I despise Sharon Osbourne, I think Ozzy is a hoot.

Can someone please explain to me how one goes about sneaking a ten kiloton anything into a city?

Happy Reaganniversary!

Weblog o' the day: Miguel and his Feral Living. (He plays with dolls)

Newly found blog to be in love with: twistypants


Is that a 10 kiloton bomb in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Michele?

Kilotons refer to the explosive power of the device, not its wieght. They probably weigh a good deal less than a kiloton.

My friend roseanne has really been enjoying your blog letely.

Shows you how much I know about weapons of mass destruction. Which is probably why I don't dabble with them.

I've been meaning to email Roseanne. I will, soon.

"Little Boy", the bomb that destroyed Hiroshima, was 120 inches long, 28 inches in diameter and weighed about 9000 lbs. It had a yield of about 15 kt.

"Gymnast Barbie" is 11.113 inches long and - properly detonated - has an impressive yield, if you know what I mean.

Oh, I know what you mean. It is euphemism day, after all.

This should scare the heck out of you http://www.fas.org/nuke/hew/Usa/Weapons/Allbombs.html. According to this the U.S. developed a 10 Kt bomb in the 50's that was 10"×17" and weighed 50 lbs.

does that mean when i come to visit you guys they'll seize my buttplugs at customs?

I want to see Ozzy's world too. The MTV Cribs tours of his homes were very funny to me. Most people think of him as an outrageous rocker, but to his kids (the little posers) he is just a middle-aged dad. It's kinda like my life, except for the fame, fortune, chemical brain damage, and wife parts.

So, you've been known to bite the heads of off small woodland creatures?

Homer's got nothing to worry about... he's a sleb baby, so of COURSE he's not going to a public school. I mean, look at how Moon Unit and Dweezil turned out...

Speaking of mean parents, I work for a hospital, and a guy named Alan Truelove and his wife had a daughter. They named her "Imagine." Yes, read that again - Imagine Truelove. True story.

i'm with you on the osbournes. why do you think i have o-z-z-y tatooed on my knuckles?

I prefer biting the frosted pink ones to the white ones, and I usually start from the rear. That way, I can imagine them screaming in horror until the very end. I like to take the last one in the bag and press him into the little candy balls that are left at the bottom, and then eat his crunchy carcass. I may be in need of some help (or medication).

The blonde said Homer must be a family name. That they might be kissing up to the Laffoon side for those interviews Anne did. I think bad names might be a tradition. Homer's gran and gram on that side are Polk and Pinky Laffoon.

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