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pop quiz

pop quiz

1. Who is General Tso and why am I eating his chicken?
2. What does it mean when there is no fortune in your cookie?
3. Do you ever feel like armageddon snuck in the door when we weren't looking?

Answers in sentence form. Number two pencils only.

Comments

1. i think he wrote "the art of war"
2. there's a strike at the fortune cookie fortune writers company
3. oh, i was looking... armageddon struck when gee, duh!-bya was named winner of the 2000 Presidential election

Sun Tsu wrote The Art of War.

General Tso suppressed the Muslim uprising during the Manchu dynasty. His real name was Zou Zong-Tang.

The answer to number three is that we each make our own little end of the world somehow, but the true definition of armageddon will be announced with the Rapture, so we'll all know when it arrives. Supposedly.

1. From http://www.io.com/~sjohn/food3.htm, "General Zou Zong-Tang was a general of the Qing (Manchu) Dynasty of China, responsible for supressing Muslim uprisings. His name was used to frighten Muslim children for centuries after his death. It is questionable whether or not the General (or his quartermaster) actually invented General Tso's Chicken . . . it may have been the invention of Taiwanese immigrants to the United States and Europe. Alternate spellings include General Cho, General Zo, General Zhou, General Jo, and General Tzo. It is pronounced "Djo," with the tongue hard against teeth."

2. No fortune means you have the biggest cookie.

3. No. If Armageddon has happened, then it is no longer relevant. I'm pretty certain Armageddon is not occuring now. Whether it happens tomorrow is anybody's guess. I'm an eternal pessimist (it's my job to be one -- when I have a job), but I'm thinking it's a safe bet the world is going to be right where I left it when I wake up tomorrow. And if I'm wrong, it's also no longer relevant.

Oh, almost forgot -- I have no idea why you're eating Tso's chicken. I presume you must like it and/or find it suitably nourishing.

Now you've ruined my taste for Gen. Tso's chicken, Chad, dammit. It used to be one of my favorites.

So, I've been eating a meal named after a monstrosity of a man whose name is used to frighten small children. What's next? General Barney's beef?

I thought I'd be all brainiac and research my answers, but people already did that. Damn.

1. or... How, being that my husband calls it General Toenail's chicken, do I still manage to eat it?
2. No fortune= you're broke
3. The dirty little secret about me is that I'm an optimist, shh, don't tell anyone.

I apologize if I've ruined people's appetite for chicken, General Tso's or otherwise.

Last night my brother and I ate at a fabulous Italian restaurant here in Seattle. I almost ordered whatever pasta came with the 'angry red sauce' simply because I wanted to know what that was. I settled for having the Angel of Death appetizer and a Lemondrop Martini instead.

Someone tell me -- is General Tso's chicken any good? I've never had it and since I've gone (mostly) vegetarian, I likely never will.

1. Brother in-law to General Dha, fourth ruler of the Pepsi dynasty, who also had a penchant for chicken until Tso showed him his secret stuffing method.
2. Please refer to "Sex and the City" episode #64.
3. Yes, the day Dubya took office.

Let me tell you about the time Armageddon and I got totally trashed and he spent the night on my couch. You see, we were hitting on these two flight attendants from Sydney, and...

that was you todd?

i was not a flight attendant -- just a short skirt you couldn't resist.

I found Armageddon and fed him Rice Krispy treats and malt liquor. He spent the night telling me stories about Todd, G and George Bush. Together. Who knew?

1. Who has already been answered. You're eating his chicken to get to the other side.

2. It means you have no future.

3. It means that you're listening to Def-Lepperd again. Don't deny it.

1. Who cares who General Tso is, as long as the chicken is good.
2. No news=good news, so therefore, no fortune=good fortune.
3. Armageddon is a good friend of mine, but he trashed my apartment and scared my cats.

And I like Def Leppard! :)

1. I believe it is the "generic" chicken, which is why it has so many names... Gao, Tso, Tsu, etc. And you're eating it so it won't eat you.

2. You have found enlightment. The blank shows that your mind is empty of all desire.

3. How can a movie sneak in the door? Unless the DVD has little wheels on it...