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varicose.comatose.senile.

have a drink, a pot of coffee

Today, DJ had to write a paper for school. He had to write a list of good things about being the President and a list of bad things. Good things included having a movie theater and bowling alley in your house and getting to meet the Stanley Cup winning hockey team. Bad things included choking on pretzels and having to hang out with Dick Cheney.

Am I raising this kid right, or what?

So, winning an award sure ups your traffic. Which sort of puts pressure on you. You want the new people who are coming to your site to see something worthy. You want to them to say "hey, I'm gonna keep coming back here!" AAnd you want them to say it out loud. With vim and vigor. To the whole office. Yes, stand on your chair and shout it out loud "I'm mad as hell and I'm not..........." Wait. Wrong movie.

Where was I? Oh, yes..the new visitors. You need something besides anal sex to drag them in. You can't reach people with dirty talk and sexual inneundo. It insults their intelligence. It's sinking to the lowest level. I thought I would go with something more refined. Like:

FREE BEER!!

Anyhow, the new traffic will disappear within a day and I'll still have get down on my knees for Davezilla. I should have put in some fine print where it says I only have to give him head if my award-related traffic persists for more than a week.

Have I mentioned that I upped my coffee intake from 8 cups a day to 12 since I quit smoking? It's obvious, isn't it?

Comments

I had such a headache yesterday... it was just nasty. No amount of Dr Pepper could fix it, and all the espresso shops were closed by the time I got off work.

How about Free Sex and Beer. You're covering all your markets there.

Yes, yes you are right Todd. Free sex! Right here! www.excessbloggage.com! Don't forget the strap ons! Wooohooo!

Or the duct tape and ball gags. grin

you better not go abandoning your old skool anal sex and strap on fans in pursuit of this mainstream thing - remember, we gave you shout outs when you were doing tricks in a nashville dime a dozen rim joint.

I dunno. anal sex always gets MY attention, let me tell ya.

BRING ON THE GIMP!

I certainly hope that DJ got an A+ for that.

Me? I'm all for gay porn. Gay or straight, I don't care ... a naked man is a naked man and we all know all the hot hot hot ones are gay! So bring on the gay porn!

Emptying my hard drive gay porn into Christine's computer

There, that should last you about a year.