We went for a liquid lunch yesterday. We went because I was having a nervous breakdown sort of day and because B. was having a personal crisis sort of day and because my sister just encourages us to behave like idiots.
So we went to Chili's and B. had some Coronas and I had a couple of Margarita Presidentes.
My nickname in high school was "One Drink Michele." That one drink usually referred to half a beer. I have no tolerance for alcohol. Just sniffing a bottle of vodka makes me drunk. Well, I don't think B. has a great alcohol tolerance either, because by the time we left the place we were behaving like 8 year olds and my sister was pushing us out the door in embarassment.
I don't make a habit of drinking during a workday. The last time I did was Cinco de Mayo of last year. I ended up sleeping under my desk until 5:00.
So on the way home, we were laughing so hard we were actually snorting. I don't know what we were laughing at, I think it had something to do with Winona Ryder and Tammy Faye Baker. And at some point, B. said "If you don't make me stop laughing I'm going to either throw up or shit my pants." I never did ask her if she accomplished either of those.
We had to show some decorum when we got back to work because it is highly unprofessional to be snickering and giggling as people file past you in prison-issue jumpsuits and handcuffs. I went to my desk and B. went to hers and we proceeded to barrage each other with bizarre sexual emails. I could hear her laughing out loud from her office down the hall. I could hear the "tsk tsk" noises of the straight and narrow people walking around the building, the people who would never dare to be giddy or drunk at work. Or at home.
It was a fun way to pass a very stressful day, but I will make up for it today when I get to work and realize that I got nothing accomplished yesterday, and the stress level is still there. As that wise philospher Homer Simpson once said: "Alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!" Today's lunch will consist of non-alcoholic drinks, and maybe I should just sit in my office and eat and stop hanging around with people who are obviously such a bad influence on me. Although they will tell you differently, I'm sure. Don't listen to them. They lie.