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B to the Ling

B to the Ling

I come out of work today and head towards the parking lot. As I'm about to open my car door I'm accosted by a rather haggard looking man. He grabs my shoulder and speaks animatedly, but I have no idea what language he is speaking. I'm trying to make out at least the last word, which sounds like either schwing or bring.

"Excuse me?" I say. "Bring?"

I notice he has no teeth. He may be speaking English for all I know, but it's hard to sound coherent without teeth.

"mumblemumble ling ling"

"Ling?" I think maybe he's asking me for money, but I can't be sure. He's exasperated.

"mumblemumble bling"

I look at him quizically. "Bling bling?" I ask.

He stares for a moment, his hand still on my shoulder. Then he breaks out into a wide, toothless grin.

"Bling Bling!!!" He says, excitedly.

He then reaches into his sweatshirt and pulls out a gold chain. At the end of the chain is a large, plastic, gold colored dollar sign. He tilts back his head and laughs.

"Bling Bling!" he cries, and walks away.


Amazing. Simply amazing....

I laughed, I cried...it was better than Cats.

i sure miss long island ;-)

that was beautiful.



  • blink *

You're waaaaay more mellow than me. If that happened to me in New York, I'd be like, "What? What! WHAT?!"

you weren't having another dream were you? ;)

I was simply offering a gold chain. I was excited that you did not want it. I try to "pay it forward", but sometimes it works out better for me. That gold chain got me a hot shower and some port blotter.

If you want to be prepared for your next encounter with the fellow, surf to the Bling King's site (http://www.theblingking.com/).

fucking toothless abba fans

Nothing like that ever happens to me. I can't decide - right at this moment - whether that's a net positive or not.

teeeheeee thats a real funny for me cause between me and my ex "bling bling" meant "orgasm"


You just brought back the best sexual memories for me.Thanks a bunch!


I think I enjoy being a weirdo magnet. It makes life a bit more interesting.

Roe, I wasn't scared of the guy at all, because it was at my work parking lot, and there were 3 guys with guns standing about 20 feet away.

Edgar, stop watching sappy Helen Hunt movies.

Ah, but its not just a sappy Helen Hunt movie. Its the Kevin Spacey factor that puts everything together.

Ah. Much better! Well hey, in that case, glad you had...uh...fun? :D

I only hope that when I visit NY someday, I am accosted by someone as delightful as the Bling-bling Man. Most of our street people here in Northern Alabama are...less interesting. Although, I did have Crazy Marvin think there was a cat haunting the granita machine once (back when I was a coffee slave).

Once, with a couple of girlfriends, I passed a similar man in Jackson, Wyoming , near the town square. He asked, "How can you tell an American anywhere in the world?"


"They're always jingling their car keys!"

Ha ha ha, he laughed maniacally.(?!)

I think I know that guy, was he wearing a red dress, and a brazier? Full facial beard and long hair?

I think I saw that guy on HBO, Edgar.

Hello, have fun with easy blogging!