B to the Ling
B to the Ling
I come out of work today and head towards the parking lot. As I'm about to open my car door I'm accosted by a rather haggard looking man. He grabs my shoulder and speaks animatedly, but I have no idea what language he is speaking. I'm trying to make out at least the last word, which sounds like either schwing or bring.
"Excuse me?" I say. "Bring?"
I notice he has no teeth. He may be speaking English for all I know, but it's hard to sound coherent without teeth.
"mumblemumble ling ling"
"Ling?" I think maybe he's asking me for money, but I can't be sure. He's exasperated.
"mumblemumble bling"
I look at him quizically. "Bling bling?" I ask.
He stares for a moment, his hand still on my shoulder. Then he breaks out into a wide, toothless grin.
"Bling Bling!!!" He says, excitedly.
He then reaches into his sweatshirt and pulls out a gold chain. At the end of the chain is a large, plastic, gold colored dollar sign. He tilts back his head and laughs.
"Bling Bling!" he cries, and walks away.
Comments
Amazing. Simply amazing....
I laughed, I cried...it was better than Cats.
Posted by: ian | January 22, 2002 03:29 PM
i sure miss long island ;-)
Posted by: Frank | January 22, 2002 04:18 PM
that was beautiful.
whew.
damn.
Posted by: Jessica | January 22, 2002 07:29 PM
You're waaaaay more mellow than me. If that happened to me in New York, I'd be like, "What? What! WHAT?!"
Posted by: roe | January 22, 2002 10:01 PM
you weren't having another dream were you? ;)
Posted by: jeana | January 22, 2002 10:17 PM
I was simply offering a gold chain. I was excited that you did not want it. I try to "pay it forward", but sometimes it works out better for me. That gold chain got me a hot shower and some port blotter.
Posted by: EdgartheBent | January 22, 2002 10:25 PM
If you want to be prepared for your next encounter with the fellow, surf to the Bling King's site (http://www.theblingking.com/).
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fucking toothless abba fans
Posted by: g | January 23, 2002 12:09 AM
Nothing like that ever happens to me. I can't decide - right at this moment - whether that's a net positive or not.
Posted by: Muad'Dib | January 23, 2002 01:05 AM
teeeheeee thats a real funny for me cause between me and my ex "bling bling" meant "orgasm"
:)
You just brought back the best sexual memories for me.Thanks a bunch!
:)
Posted by: Nicole | January 23, 2002 02:38 AM
I think I enjoy being a weirdo magnet. It makes life a bit more interesting.
Roe, I wasn't scared of the guy at all, because it was at my work parking lot, and there were 3 guys with guns standing about 20 feet away.
Edgar, stop watching sappy Helen Hunt movies.
Posted by: michele | January 23, 2002 04:11 AM
Ah, but its not just a sappy Helen Hunt movie. Its the Kevin Spacey factor that puts everything together.
Posted by: EdgartheBent | January 23, 2002 09:03 AM
Ah. Much better! Well hey, in that case, glad you had...uh...fun? :D
Posted by: roe | January 23, 2002 10:10 AM
I only hope that when I visit NY someday, I am accosted by someone as delightful as the Bling-bling Man. Most of our street people here in Northern Alabama are...less interesting. Although, I did have Crazy Marvin think there was a cat haunting the granita machine once (back when I was a coffee slave).
Posted by: Persephone | January 23, 2002 11:31 AM
Once, with a couple of girlfriends, I passed a similar man in Jackson, Wyoming , near the town square. He asked, "How can you tell an American anywhere in the world?"
Paused.
"They're always jingling their car keys!"
Ha ha ha, he laughed maniacally.(?!)
Posted by: Vex | January 23, 2002 07:07 PM
I think I know that guy, was he wearing a red dress, and a brazier? Full facial beard and long hair?
Posted by: EdgartheBent | January 24, 2002 02:21 AM
I think I saw that guy on HBO, Edgar.
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