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power bars for the soul

power bars for the soul

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Nutrition for your soul? Or just some clever marketing by organic food suppliers?

I stopped at the bagel place on my way to work today. Next to the bagel store, which is, ironically called Heavenly Bagels, is a Christian bookstore. Plastered on the window of that store were posters for bible nutrition. What caught my eye was not really the bible bar, but the poster proclaiming the bible nutrition system to be "Nutrition the way God intended it." There's a whole slew of products you can buy, all specially designed to get your stomach as close to god as possible.

It says "helps regulate appetite," but with those kind of ingredients, it's gonna regulate more than that. All your biblical nutrients are gonna end being flushed if you know what I mean.

The more man processes his food, the less biblical it is, so sayeth the makers of biblical nutrition products. I don't know about you, but when I eat, I don't make my food decisions based on whether it's spiritually acceptable. I can see the point about not eating additives and eating organic food, but I can't condone the idea of using god as a marketing tool, even if I am an atheist.

Notice the lack of apples in the ingredients.

Yep, I am in a blogging mood tonight. More of my astounding day after I eat some non-religious Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Posted by on January 16, 2002 05:02 PM |

Comments

I am going to hell.

I mentioned this to my cubicle mates. One girl wanted to change it to the Jesus bar, and my supervisor stood up, spread her arms in a crucifitionesque manner, and said "Need a break? Have a Jesus bar!"

there was a potential for granola bar-computer monitor disaster, but it passed safely. :)

Posted by: shel | January 16, 2002 05:45 PM

God is always telling me to eat Snickers bars. Is that the same thing?

Posted by: ian | January 16, 2002 05:45 PM

Hey, maybe this is what DJ meant when he sang about mom eating jesus!

Posted by: michele | January 16, 2002 05:53 PM

Can someone please tell Jason Alexander he's not entertaining anymore so he'll stop doing KFC commercials?

Posted by: Todd | January 16, 2002 06:03 PM

Even Bobby Knight was able to tell his pre-game-praying players that God didn't give a rat's ass about who won a basketball game.

I know God doesn't care if I eat processed food as long as I didn't kill, commit adultery, etc., to get it. So most of the time I'm ok ...

Posted by: Jill Matrix | January 16, 2002 07:12 PM

Bwahahaha!!!

Posted by: Candi | January 16, 2002 07:15 PM

It's been done before. Goats did a series on ""Jesus Peanut Butter Cups." There's no wrong way to eat a Jesus.

Posted by: Keith | January 16, 2002 09:52 PM

Yea, but that was a joke Keith. This is real, which makes it all the more better.

Posted by: michele | January 17, 2002 03:45 AM

the priests I ate never had any problems...not!

Posted by: g | January 17, 2002 08:03 AM

Grab a Saviour Snack and... (whistling)...Always look on the bright side of life!

Or do we have to ask Eric Idle for the rights to that song?

Posted by: Persephone | January 17, 2002 10:31 AM

My brother's improv troupe once did an Easter show featuring a chocolate Jesus.

Posted by: Bill | January 17, 2002 02:57 PM

http://hardcorehalite.tripod.com

The lead singer, a good friend of mine, is named Chocolate Jesus.

Posted by: michele | January 17, 2002 04:06 PM

But . . .but . . .it contains the 7 foods of Deuteronomy!

Posted by: Charles | January 17, 2002 11:23 PM

Hello. If you are owner of this site, delete this message, please.

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