A Small Victory

and now..your moment of mushiness

I did give and get some presents that didn't come in shiny wrapping paper. Things like love, gratefulness, appreciation, laughter, huge smiles, and a zest for life that I forget to get use out of sometimes. I love my family. I truly believe I am incredibly lucky to have the family that I do. That includes not just my immediate family, but a very large circle of cousins, aunts and uncles, all of whom I see so often that I forget just how fortunate I am to have all this family around me.

I generally reserve some time the day after Christmas to go to the cemetery. It gives me an overwhelming sense of gratitude for just being here, being alive. The kids always come with me, they have learned to appreciate the cemetery the way I have, and we use the time there to talk about the lives of the people we miss. We make my way around the headstones, winding a pre-planned path around the graves of my grandmother (march 25th entry) and grandfather, an aunt I lost long ago, and a few family friends. We've added two new stops to our circuit this year. In April, my kids uncle (see april entries) on their father's side died of a heart attack at 32. They have been to his grave before, with their father, and in some way they look forward to going there. Like Natalie says, it's their way of keeping in touch with him. After that, we will go to the other side of the cemetery, where there are crypts instead of headstones, giant monuments to people who are lavished after death as they probably were in life. There, we will visit with our old friend Pete Ganci, (9/13) and while it will be sad and bleak for a moment, it will also be a little upliftng. The kids have taken a somewhat reverent tone when talking about Pete. He has become the ultimate hero to them, and we will take this occasion to once again, in our hearts, thank him.

Yes, I always get this mushy and morose the day after Christmas. After the weeks spent doing nothing but shopping and bitching and checking my bank account again and again, it's not until after it's all over and I can sit in relative peace and quiet that I count my blessings and enjoy the holiday magic. I usually do it alone, because if I went to my family and starting blubbering about how much I love them like some scene out of a sappy movie, they would have me committed. So thanks for hanging out with me this year for annual moment of mushiness.

Don't make me come over there and hug you.