you must learn
you must learn
It's 3:30. I've been up since 3am. I am back on that merry-go-round of nightmares, too-little sleep and days spent acting like I am up for a part in Dawn of the Dead. It's going to be a bah-humbug sort of day.
As promised yesterday, What I've Learned
- life will never ever imitate your favorite tv show
- having one good friend is always better than having 20 so-so acquaintances
- a teacher who fails you with a 64 when 65 is passing is not teaching you a great life lesson, he is just a sadistic fucker
- no matter how many drugs you are given, childbirth will still hurt like a bastard
- spending your life riding the handbasket to hell is much more fun than riding in the car with grandma and grandpa to church every sunday
- special edition of anything is usually not very special
- a band's third cd is usually the worst
- george lucas is the spawn of satan
- things like "heartache" and "lump in the throat" are not just sayings, they are real physical inflictions.
- your parents were right
- never trust a guy who says "there is nothing in this joint besides pot"
- never apologize for being who you are. unless you are a serial killer.
- if you want to be the kind of person that spreads gossip, be prepared to be the kind of person who is the subject of gossip
- parenting a pre-pubescent girl is the greatest torture in the world
- lower your expectations, and you are never disappointed
- as cliche as it may sound, there is no better feeling than a spontaneous hug from a child
- unconditional love is a gift. never take it for granted
- the rock stars you idolized when growing up will eventually become old and bitter and you will be embarassed to tell anyone that you once wrote them a fan letter and sealed it with a kiss
- stuffed animals do not come alive after you are asleep
- never have orange juice after brushing your teeth
- sometimes it's ok to be selfish
- a list can go on forever if you don't forcefully put a stop to it
So, what have you learned?