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defending my space

defending my space

Last night I not only got an email telling me my blog is inconsistent, but a complete stranger (to me) Instant Messaged me to critique this space. These things happened at the exact same time, and I felt like an unwilling participant in a verbal gang-bang.

The email said something to the effect that I obviously did not know what I wanted to be. What was I going for here anyhow? Political blog? Personal? News? Links? I honestly didn't know I had to declare my blogging emphasis the way one declares a major in college. Can't I just be a Liberal Arts blogger, writing a little of this, a little of that?

Of course this blog is inconsistent. It is about consistent as I am, which is to say, not at all. The tone and content here depends on a solid mathematical equation used to determine what kind of mood I am in. Grams of Caffeine Intake x Number of Times Boss Called Me "Sunshine" x Road Rage Factor (based on a 1-10 scale) divided by level of hormones. You take that number, apply it to my scale of Blog Subjects (lowest being "write something mushy about how much you love the whole damned world" and highest being "i hope you all die a gruesome death") and there you have it, my formula for inconsistent blogging.

Honestly, I don't know what the theme here is. It used to be a strict news/links kind of place, but somewhere along the line it became more personal. I like it this way. I like not being confined to a certain subject or limited to one area of concentration. If you come looking for me bashing George Bush and it's not here today, come back and check tomorrow. Good chance it will be here. If you came looking for links and news, you may be disappointed to find a very personal story. Basically, I run the show here. And it's a different show every day.

As for Miss Instant Messenger, who was upset because I don't tell enough "cute" stories about my kids or talk about things I do like a real parent does, I say this. My kids are not cute. I have an 8 year old boy and an 11 year old girl. 8 year old boys do nothing but tell fart jokes and play video games. 11 year old girls do nothing but whine. All the time. There are no cute stories to be had in that kind of life. Once in a while I will write about their exploits on the field or at school, mainly because I am proud of them in those kinds of ways, but I honestly do not thingkanyone wants to read (nor do I want to write) about how many different ways a child can say "poopy head" or a young girl's misguided attempts at putting on make up.

As for my stories of being a mother: Let's just say that tying your children down and forcing them to watch Goonies while you lecture them about why it's one of the greatest movies ever is not the kind of parenting one brags about. We won't even mention the closet incident.

So thanks for the attempts to "fix" my blog, guys. I'm kind of happy with the way it is. This is my place, my rules, my prerogative to be as pissy or sweet as I want to, to talk about the weather or The Simpsons or the political climate in Greenland.

Is it Friday yet?

Posted by on December 18, 2001 04:21 AM |

Comments

goonies are good enuf 4 me....

my coomputer is still pretty fucked, so no IMing, tho I'll tyr & send you an email soon...

hehe...poopy head.

Posted by: g | December 18, 2001 04:35 AM

Theme, schmeme.

Who made them the editors of the internet?

Posted by: Bill | December 18, 2001 05:23 AM

You could try a few more of them personality test things... and a few links to other popular A list sistes wouldn't go amiss.

(cheesy two thumbs up freezeframe)

Posted by: D | December 18, 2001 05:30 AM

grrrr. I hate people.

grrr.

Posted by: erika | December 18, 2001 06:41 AM

"And it's a different show every day."

darn tootin'.

One of the reasons I keep coming back...

always different, always fresh, always real.

Keep at it.

If they don't like it, they don't have to read it.

Write for yourself, not some imagined audience.

Posted by: john | December 18, 2001 07:17 AM

who cares what people say? Follow your own way...

okay, it's too early to quote enigma. :) your blog is one of my faves, you know that. Keep up the fab work. lix

Posted by: shel | December 18, 2001 08:13 AM

I always get a kick out of people who want to give unsolicited advice on how a person can "improve" they're weblog.

Improve? What the hell is that? To what end? So that it will be ready for syndication? So that it will make other people happy? What the hell?

How freakin self absorbed and arrogant do you have to be to go to someone else's diary and point out things that need to be improved?

Posted by: Jon | December 18, 2001 08:38 AM

Haha, I can't stop laughing that someone would be so moronic to try and tell YOU how to improve your weblog! Oh my god! That's like telling Calista Flockheart she'd be so much more attractive if she'd just slim down! Bahahah.

Wasn't I just bitching about broken records Sunday? She wants consistency? I can point out a few overly consistent blogs if they want, and they're a big fat snore.

Don't you dare change a thing about your blog, or let these idiots that always plague you bring you down.

Posted by: Candi | December 18, 2001 08:58 AM

Thats strange. I was going to email you and tell how great your blog was. Sure you talk about everyday things but in a highly entertaining acerbic sort of way which I totally dig. So in essence, these "critics" can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned. Of course thats just my clinical opinion....

Posted by: Kevin | December 18, 2001 09:02 AM

You know, what this site really needs are some of those animated snowflakes falling down.

Posted by: Miguel | December 18, 2001 09:16 AM

Sloth Love Chunk!

Posted by: Todd | December 18, 2001 09:18 AM

A small glimpse into a persons life and they want to tell you how to better express yourself and on what topics? Screw em.

I may not always agree, but I always enjoy the read.

Posted by: Barker | December 18, 2001 09:27 AM

I used to have a small graphic prominently placed on my blog: "If you don't like it, don't look at it." I even had to point it out to my dad once, in response to his "critique."

So don't let the poopy heads get you down. I think the appropriate response in both cases would be along the lines of, "please send me the URL of your blog, so I may compare your superior efforts to mine."

Becuz' you know they don't have one. And if they do, well, turnabout fair play!

Posted by: PhotoDude | December 18, 2001 10:15 AM

fuck 'em. i love your blog. i love reading about people's day to day lives and how they get through it all, because that's all any of us are trying to do. and agreement with any bloggers opinions isn't necessary. it's about enjoying the read, making a connection. keep it up!

Posted by: persephone | December 18, 2001 10:35 AM

ok, i'm trying to imagine happening upon a well-written, unique, incredibly popular personal weblog, & then feeling moved to pitch in my $0.02 about how it could be "improved".

no. no, i can't imagine. tsk the unmitigated gall of some people.

Posted by: kd | December 18, 2001 10:50 AM

Well, that question of the day thing sucked kinda, cause you stopped doing it and Surreally has too many writers and not enough porn.

(running away very fast)

Posted by: D | December 18, 2001 11:19 AM

HEY!!!

What, are you saying that there's no interest in Greenlandish politics? Well I never!

I'll never come to this blog again!

Posted by: trav | December 18, 2001 11:23 AM

people have obviously too much time on their hands. Whatever...screw those chumps...this is YOUR blog..if they don't like it, who asked them to read it?

Posted by: felicia | December 18, 2001 11:25 AM

Hrm. Well, I can actually think of a way to improve. More blogging about me ;-)

Posted by: shel | December 18, 2001 11:46 AM

you know, michele, we don't agree too often in views, but i think you do just fine here, and i wouldn't have your site any other way. it's you, it's honest. it's just right. have fun and keep doin' what you're doin'.

Posted by: carey | December 18, 2001 11:52 AM

Not that I like being forced to reveal my evil side--but give us the addresses of these folks, and we'll all drop by for some free advice for them. I'm sure that it will all be highly constructive.

And M., I was just thinking last night how much I enjoy my visits here.

Posted by: jadedju | December 18, 2001 12:04 PM

Your blog has one very consistent theme. It’s the reason I read your site every day.

It’s written by Michele Catalano. And no one else can do that.

Posted by: Davezilla | December 18, 2001 12:31 PM

Whatever. I consistently enjoy your "inconsistent" writing. A lot. Fuck'em.

Posted by: Miriam | December 18, 2001 12:44 PM

Screw 'em! I love your Blog! It's one of only two that I read on a daily basis. I never know what I'll find except one thing... a flat out honest person talking about whatever the hell they want to. Don't change a thing :)

Lisa

Posted by: Lisa | December 18, 2001 01:32 PM

Basically, I made the post because I got a kick out of people trying to control what someone does with a personal site, and I thought you all would too.

I certainly didn't expect to get here this afternoon and find a whole lot of compliment-filled comments.

Despite the fact that every blogger says "I do this for me and me only," we all know that at least at some point, you want to know that you're not the only person reading your own site, and that the people who do read it like it.

So I've got a great big grin on my face today and my ego has been boosted just enough to get me through the rest of this workday without killing anyone.

Thank you and, for the record, this blog will remain forever inconsistent.

Posted by: michele | December 18, 2001 02:08 PM

Could be worse. You could get annoying messages like I do in my comments. Of course I alway delete them but it is annoying. Heres an example.

"Hey d00d yur site is shit it sux man u is an looooser d00d, get an life and stop all this pooterrammin u pooterrammer

fucknut @ 12/03/2001 01:07 PM CST"

This person obviously is a brain surgeon with too much time on his hands.

Posted by: EdgartheBent | December 18, 2001 02:24 PM

Oooh, please come critique my blog next, pleasepleaseplease?! I haven't eviscerated anyone in at least a week!

Posted by: Sekimori | December 18, 2001 03:11 PM

Wow. Blog nazis. If everybody's blogs were consistent to one standard, things would get boring rather quick.

Posted by: PixelFish | December 18, 2001 03:49 PM

Actually, I kind of thought you were being consistent. Every time I come here, you've posted something that's worthy of reading (since you know my time and attention span are ever so short and valuable). Isn't that consistent enough?

Posted by: Keith | December 18, 2001 03:57 PM

needs more pink.

Posted by: BtC | December 18, 2001 04:23 PM

Feh. People are stupid. Rock on, Michele!

Posted by: Fredo | December 18, 2001 04:33 PM

I like you just the way you are Michele, however random you may be! Screw Miss IM and her problem with "inconsistency"!

Posted by: cybertoad | December 18, 2001 04:49 PM

Well, for myself, I doubt I'd read it if it was "consistent", at least by that definition. It is, in large part, the fact that I never know exactly what I'll get when I come here that keeps me reading (it certainly isn't our remarkably similar political convictions!).

Vivé la difference!

Posted by: Muad'Dib | December 18, 2001 06:47 PM

are you sure that wasn't the baginas?

Posted by: miss b | December 18, 2001 07:32 PM

You know, those kind of eeeeediots who try to tell YOU how to write YOUR journal are probably the same kind of people whining that "Full House" was the best sitcom of all time, and "Scrubs" is nothing in comparison to the good ol' days. Well guess what folks? Alanis Morissette boinked Dave Coulier, and "You Oughtta Know" and a new musical genre was born in its place. And so the world turns... Fortunately the WWW always has a "back button" -- get over it and go somewhere else! We likes it like 'dat!

Posted by: Robyn | December 18, 2001 10:21 PM

Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em, fuck 'em, fuck 'em and the keyboard they typed that horrible crap on. May they choke on their mice.

You're FINE. You're GROOVY. And, to quote INXS, "Don't change a thing!"

Now, Miguel, a word with you about those animated snowflakes...meanie! :D

Posted by: roe | December 18, 2001 10:49 PM

Most people are stupid. There, I've said it. They need little boxes and labels for the different components in life, so they don't have to think about them.

Remember a couple of months ago when I first found your blog, and praised your funny, intelligent, and interesting style? Relieved that you were not, indeed, a "mommy blogger."I think you're wonderful and so is all the stuff you write. I only wish most people were so multi-faceted.

Posted by: Charles | December 19, 2001 12:20 AM

Adding to a weblog on a daily basis is going to lead to inconsistency. That's not a bad thing. It's a reflection on the life of the weblog's author.

Posted by: led | December 19, 2001 12:53 AM

Hey, if we're all with Michele, who could be against us?

(bait! bait! bait!)

Posted by: D | December 19, 2001 04:40 AM

"Despite the fact that every blogger says "I do this for me and me only," we all know that at least at some point, you want to know that you're not the only person reading your own site, and that the people who do read it like it."

Don't you and I know it. :P

Oh! Oh! The Goonies has been released on DVD! I got it from Netflix -- rockin'. Complaints: They have four cut scenes, but they don't let you integrate them into the movie so you can see it all, and the cast commentary version was really disheartening... most of the cast had this attitude that it was just this movie they did when they were kids and how corny and lame it was and I'm sitting there yelling at the screen, "Shut up, this movie rocks, you ungrateful scabs!" Granted it was mostly Corey Feldman and Martha Plimpton, but they would not. Shut. Up. They talked so much you couldn't watch the movie. Jeff Cohen, of course, had interesting things to say. Ever read the Salon article, Stalking Chunk?

Posted by: Jason | December 19, 2001 12:35 PM

There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. by poker rules

Posted by: internet poker | November 18, 2004 06:32 AM

The expression often used by Mr. Herbert Spencer, of the Survival of the Fittest, is more accurate, and is sometimes equally convenient. by poker online

Posted by: wsop | November 18, 2004 07:15 AM