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you had to be there theatre presents:

you had to be there theatre presents:*

Just came back from mom's house for our annual "let's desecrate decorate mom's tree" festival. Generally, it's the same thing ever year. We start off all nice and pleasant, putting the 20 year old homemade ornaments on the tree, telling stories of Christmas past and watching A Christmas Story. Soon, it disintegrates into something else entirely and we end up making fun of each and every ornament, telling raunchy jokes and starting rumors about my mother.

Tonight, my sister reminded us all how my father used to come home from work every day, look at dinner and exclaim, "guess what I had for lunch today!?" and the answer would always be whatever my mother had cooked for dinner. Two minutes later, I told the story of when my little sister was about 4 and found an opened tub of butter on the kitchen table. It was July. She took it outside and covered herself, sitting in the hot sun, in butter from head to toe. We said something about almost having a roasted baby. Somehow, the stories got mixed up and when Natalie repeated it to her friend over the phone later, it came out as "and then grandma put the dinner on the table and grandpa said 'but I had roasted baby for lunch!'

I guess you had to be there.

*you had to be there theatre is the intellectual property of mercurial.org


Lewis Black has a routine about using Crisco as sunblock. Funny as hell.

No fair, you stole the thing that I stole from dave. :)

well if dave posted more, people wouldn't steal the good ideas that he is not using.