singing for the choire
Singing for the Choire
Happy Birthday, Choire. Here's the present you asked for:
I have been known to eat an entire box of truffles for dinner. I had a crush on my cousin when I was in grade school. My first sexual experience was with a girl. I didn't have any friends until high school. I know all the words to several Air Supply songs. I once owned and wore a pair of spandex pants. My ancestors were horse thieves in Italy. I have a huge porn collection. I like sex that involves lubrication. I've cheated BMG and Columbia house out of money and I stole $20 out of my mother's purse when I was 12. I used the money to buy slurpees and candy. I had my tubes tied two years ago. I tried to put an evil death curse on my ex husband while we were still married. I let my children listen to cds with parental warning stickers on them. I own the Transformers movie on DVD. One of my bosses had the cops called on him because he was showering naked outside. With his kids. I hate Ewoks. This is feeling too much like confession. Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been several years since I admitted I own an Oasis cd.
Yea, yea. Happy fucking birthday. Enjoy!
Comments
What? Half of that sounds perfectly normal.
Fire up the barbeque and we'll have a Wicket or two while we watch the Transformers. Curse you Megatron!
Posted by: D | November 19, 2001 06:40 PM
I thought it was a college rite of pasage to steal from BMG and Columbia House. I owe them money under many different pseudonyms and addresses. But they will never find Oliver Clothesov, Mike Rotch, or Hugh Gass, I swear it!
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Posted by: Jill Matrix | November 19, 2001 08:16 PM
Hehe AIR SUPPLY! And the fact you own that movie on DVD is distressing - the fact that movie even came out on DVD is distressing, well hell the fact that movie was even made in the first place is a little distressing . . .But you totally redeem yourself with the hot adolecent girl-on-girl action and the pr0n collection! Damn I might even marry you - well that is if I wasn't already engaged and you didn;t have all those kids . . .but still quite gorgeous.
Posted by: Charles | November 19, 2001 09:27 PM
Okay, YOU FUCKING ROCK!
Posted by: Choire | November 19, 2001 11:54 PM
First of all. Transformer the movie Kicks Ass. Second Oasis is really bad! Throw it out NOW!!
Otherwise.
Preach on Sister!!
Posted by: EdgartheBent | November 20, 2001 12:43 AM
I'm not even going to touch the Transformers DVD thing...we all know the sacrifices we have to make for our children.
But since you mention it...here's another useless online test. What Transformer would you be?
http://android5.com/misc/tests/
Posted by: Stacy | November 20, 2001 02:12 AM
So you know the words to several Air Suppy songs. Can you say you've been to an Air Supply concert? I can! I just refuse to say so on my own site.
Posted by: led | November 20, 2001 02:49 AM
can you say yr 21st brithday preent was tickets to air supply at twin towns tweeed heads rsl club...they rocked, esp when the one with the bad hair played guita on the piano...i'm all outta love, i'm so lost without you....
Posted by: g | November 20, 2001 06:17 AM
You're going to HELL, girl...
I've saved you some space in my handbasket. g
Posted by: shel | November 20, 2001 10:12 AM
You think Air Supply is bad...I have that stinkin' Cher CD with "believe" on it...
Shoot me now!!!
Posted by: Lisa | November 20, 2001 10:22 AM
Oasis rules, bro.
Get over it.
Posted by: ian | November 20, 2001 11:52 AM
Sure Oasis is good, if you sleep to mood sounds like screaching bats.
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Sex involving lubrication...
What can I say?
Posted by: trav | November 20, 2001 06:09 PM
Wow Michele. You’re first sexual experience was with a girl? Mine too! Small world...
Posted by: Davezilla | November 20, 2001 06:14 PM
I swear that Choire himself told me that his name was pronounced "choir" and now I find out it's "Corey." I have misled you. :(
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