Hey Strom...want me to hold the bucket while you kick it?
So, you're in the armed forces and you are overseas fighting a phantom war. I'ts getting close to the holidays. You miss America. Then - good news! Hollywood is sending over a contingent of superstars to entertain you and cheer you up!
Yes, armed men and women. You will soon be entertained by the likes of Bo Derek, Shaggy, Miss America and...oh my god is that Wayne Newton?!? Not only are you stuck in the middle of a shitty war, but you are stuck gawking at has been stars and a cheesy Vegas icon masquerading as entertainment. God Bless America!
My kind of patriotism: heed the call to support your local gamers as they serve our nation. It's a dirty job but someon's gotta do it.
I'm gonna go shoot some teletubbies.