A Small Victory

Souls on Sale, today only!

Welcome to another American holiday whose meaning has been lost in the flurry of big blowout sales.

cue patriotic music: Don't forget folks, in order to honor those who served our country in time of war, buy yourself a brand new mink coat! On sale today, just for Veteran's Day! God Bless America and Fur! Repeat over again, substituting the holiday as needed. Fur is interchangeable with washing machines, video games and living room furniture.

George W. is officially out of his mind. In another effor to rally Americans round the flag, our great leadership has called on Hollywood to help in the war on terrorism.

MPAA President Jack Valenti: "This (meeting with White House delgates) was about contributing Hollywood's creative imagination and their persuasion skills to help in this war effort so that one day Americans can lead normal lives again." Talk about delusions of grandeur. Hollywood is going to help us lead normal lives? Is that all it's going to take? Some crappy piece of propaganda telling me that I should feel good and not be afraid and hang flags out my windows and cheer on my great, wonderful nation in its efforts to bomb the hell out of terrorism? Well I'll be god damned! I'm going to quit therapy and put away those self-help books because Hollywood is going to save me!

Oops. I didn't mean propaganda. White House adivser Karl Rove made it clear that he wasn't asking the members of the film community to produce propaganda. Filmmakers will be left to decide on their own what the content of their efforts will be. Nope. No one is telling them what to say. Oh, but they did come up with some suggestions for what their contribution will be about:

-A call to service for Americans

-9-11 was an attack against civilization and needs a global response

-The antiterrorism campaign is a war against evil

Nope. No propaganda here. Nothing to see. Move on.

In the scariest part of the whole thing, there was a suggestion that members of stage and screen could perform overseas in USO shows for the troops. Please, no. Not Bette Middler. Please do not give her any reason to perform a heart wrenching, tear jerking inspirational song that will be on every radio station 40 times an hour. I'm still recovering from Wind Beneath My Wings.

One more from Mr. Rove: "The world is full of people who are discerning, and we need to recognize that concrete information told with honesty and specificity and integrity is important to the ultimate success in this conflict." Ok, Mr. Rove. Want to make sure Ashcroft and Cheney saw that memo?