the beginning of the end...
the beginning of the end...
I knew this was coming. We had put it off for so long, always dancing circles around it but never really getting to the heart of the matter. We have come to that proverbial crossroads in our relationship. And I don't know which way either of us will choose to go.
We have been together three years. We do love each other, very much so. But there are other circumstances, other things, that are keeping us both from being truly happy. Things that hang on the peripheral of what is "us" that we only stop to look at once in a while. We stopped today. We looked. We stared. And now we are both left with a decision to make. What if one chooses what the other doesn't? Somebody is left walking down a road they had no intention of traveling.
Two months ago we were making plans to get married next year. It's that not we have changed. Things around us have changed. The pattern of our relationship has twisted and turned until it became something different. The wind of life moves around you and sometimes it sucks you up and swirls you around and when it puts you down, you're not in Kansas anymore.
I can't change the circumstances leading up to this. I can't change those things that are roadblocks to our happiness. One person's roadblock is another person's green light. When you don't view things with the same eye and the same mind, shadows and light are confused with one another.
Maybe we will compromise. Maybe we won't. Its the not knowing that kills you.
Comments
oh god, i hear you and i'm so sorry. what is worse than the not knowing? remind yourself that you'll look back on the not knowing and realize that you now know. and how grateful you'll feel... remember that whatever the outcome, you are better for it.
Posted by: miss b | November 6, 2001 03:10 PM
Please dont forget that you've gone thro rather a lot of traumas lately.
Take some time out! Relax together (or separately). Get a new sense of perspective - by that I mean BOTH of you.
Don't let go of the good things, hang on to them
Whatever you finally decide - make it FINAL. No regrets about keeping on keeping on/cutting loose at the 'right time'/whatever.
You will have to make a new start, whatever you decide. You will have to make/create more personal spaces in your lives.......
Finally, hope you resolve this! Look forward to seeing positive news.
Ann.
Posted by: ann | November 6, 2001 04:28 PM
I really like you.
Posted by: trav | November 6, 2001 04:54 PM
Heh I could just cut and paste that post into my blog.
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