The days of the week are screwing with me. They have it in for me. Today went off like a Monday, all havoc and no tranquility. There were previously unheard of projects and homework that made a sudden appearance this morning. There were lost jerseys and broken toasters and computer breakdowns. There was a dryer that never went on, forcing me to wear jeans to work. A missing ID badge. Sour milk. It went on like this for over an hour until finally, everyone was off to their respective schools and cars. I am supposed to be at work at 8. I didn't pull out of my driveway until 8:05. And then saw the gas tank on E. I decided to push my bad luck and not stop for gas. You can ride on fumes, right?
I'm on my way finally and I decided, for a change, to not ride the crest of aggravation that has washed over me. No road rage today. No bad mood. It's Friday, can't have that.
I turn on the cd player and make the decision that Machine Head is not conducive to calming down and enjoying a pleasant ride. I then see something unsettling. All the cds I have in my car are head-related. Machine Head. Radhiohead. Portishead. Buckethead. Hed pe. Heads everywhere. My conspiracy slanted mind takes this as a sign, an omen. Will heads roll when I get into work today? Will I have to give Justin head when I get home? Will I be forced to watch Head of the Class reruns all night? I felt a very strong headache coming on.
Let me tell you, Portishead is not driving music. It was putting me to sleep and lulling me into a false sense of peacefulness. Portishead is great when you're home and brooding about your life, laying in the dark with your headphones on. But for driving on a Fuck You Friday, it's not happening. I put the Machine Head back on. It turned out to be the perfect music for driving amongst 80 year old people with no reflexes, landscaping trucks that take up two lanes and people who think the speed limit is 30.
By the time I got to work, I had enough adrenaline stored to get through the day. Agitated adrenaline is the perfect tool for combatting stupid co-workers, coffee grubbers and work that you have no desire to do.
I am calm now. I am going to ignore my work and continue my novel. And I am going to inflict severe pain on the first person that says the word "head" to me.
Is it 4:00 yet?